


New Dawn

by DalekAmy



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-01-27 09:58:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 40,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12579188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DalekAmy/pseuds/DalekAmy
Summary: My attempt at rewriting Twilight but less shit.  Edward isn't a creepy asshole who makes decisions for other people, Bella isn't as bland as a person can be without being brain dead, and the book doesn't go down like a vampiric version of Wuthering Heights where at every turn they just hurt each other.  Also Bella had major depressive and anxiety disorder.  Consider this your trigger warning for suicidal themes and self harm.





	1. Bella

Over the years I had thought more about my own death than was healthy, a lot more— but even thought I had, I never imagined it would be like this. I stared without breathing across the long room, into the dark eyes of the hunter, and he looked pleasantly back at me. Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone I loved. Noble, even. That ought to count for something. Better than the many different way my addled brain had concocted before. I knew that if I'd never gone to Forks, I would probably already be dead now. It was ironic, that just when I had started wanting to live again, I was about to die. The hunter smiled in a friendly way as he sauntered forward to kill me.


	2. Bella

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Beginning of Living Again

 

My mother drove me to the airport that early Friday morning when the sun had just peaked out over the desert hills, quickly heating the air up to an almost painful 95 degrees.This was the kind of day I would normally spend sequestered inside pretending the outside word didn't exist with the air-conditioning on 60 so I could wrap myself in blankets. 

I pulled absentmindedly at the long sleeve of my brown and pink plaid shirt, if Renee noticed she didn't say anything. 

“Are you sure about this Bella? “ She asked, glancing between me and the road. 

“Yeah, a change of pace will be good.Who knows I might even make some friends for the first time in my life.”I tried to laugh it off like a joke, and honestly to me it was funny.But apparently my mother did not share those sentiments.Somehow I didn’t actually think that spending junior and senior year in Forks would necessarily help much of anything.Except Renee. 

“Do try will you?It would be good for you to get out of the house more and not just stay up in your room with your nose in a book?”I declined to tell her I had stuffed my carry on full of books in case my boxes took longer than expected to get to Forks. 

“Yeah I will.I’m sure I’ll have to make some friends in a town so small.”It wasn't like I could disappear into the nonexistent crowd.Maybe this was a bad idea.Too late now. 

She pulled up in front of the drop off area, I knew she had to get to work so she couldn't come in with me. 

“Tell Charlie I said hi okay?And if you need anything, if you need to come home you can call me whenever you want.”She assured me, pressing a quick kiss to my forehead before I got out of the car and pulled my carry on out of the backseat retreating into the crowded airport. 

When the plane landed in Port Angeles I found my way out into the airport old to find Charlie had worked his way through security and was already at the gate. 

“Hey kiddo.” He said giving me an awkward one armed hug.I had inherited all of my awkward quiet genes from him that was sure. 

“Hey.”We walked through the airport in fairly comfortable silence 

“I know how you feel about surprises so I should warn you I got you a car.”He said smiling as he loaded my carry on into his police car. 

“Dad I was going to buy a car you did’t have to do that.”I said feeling awkward. 

“I wanted to, a welcome home present.Besides it’s perfect for you.”He said pulling out of the airport and onto the highway.If I remember correctly it was only a half hour drive to Charlie’s house. 

“What does that mean perfect for me?” I asked suddenly concerned. 

“Well it’s an old truck, you remember Billy Black right?”  
“Of course, you know Jake and I talk all the time right?”Jacob was Billy’s only kid and after his mom died he and Charlie would spend their summer’s together with me and Jake.We had become really close over the years and talked almost every week even now when I hadn’t been back to Forks in two years.  
“Oh no I didn’t realize, that’s good you’ll have a friend.”He seemed relieved by that.“Anyway Billy’s in a wheel chair now and can’t drive so he let me buy his old truck off him.Jake has completely redone the engine so really the only old parts is the outside.I know you love old things, this truck looks like it was plucked straight from the 50s.”He laughed at my excited face.It was only a little bit fake.It really did should like a perfect car for me.The rest of the ride was spent in silence as I watched the forest zoom past us. 

Pulling up to the house it looked the exact same as it did last time I was here, well frankly the exact same as every other time too.Charlie hadn’t changed a thing since Renee had moved out. 

It turned out my boxes of books and clothes were already here, not that there was much in there.Most of my wardrobe stayed in Phoenix being the kind that would not be warm enough here.I got the west bedroom that faced out over the front yard. The room was familiar; it had been belonged to me since I was born. The wooden floor, the light blue walls, the peaked ceiling, the yellowed lace curtains around the window -- these were all a part of my childhood. The only changes Charlie had ever made were switching the crib for a bed and adding a desk as I grew and, at my insistence, the recent addition of an empty bookshelf. I put my laptop and phone down on the desk, a recent gift from my mother who thought that it would be easier to stay in touch. The rocking chair from my baby days was still in the corner. There was only one small bathroom at the top of the stairs, which I would have to share with Charlie. I was trying not to dwell too much on that fact.

One of the best things about Charlie is he doesn't hover. He left me alone to unpack and get settled, a feat that would have been altogether impossible for my mother. It was nice to be alone, not to have to smile and look happy, something I always had to fake around Renee. 

Forks High School had a frightening total of only three hundred and fifty-seven -- now fifty-eight -- students; there were more than seven hundred people in my junior class alone back home. All of the kids here had grown up together -- their grandparents had been toddlers together. I would be the new girl from the big city, a curiosity, a freak. Maybe, if I looked like a girl from Phoenix should, I could work this to my advantage. But physically, I'd never fit in anywhere. I should be tan, sporty, blond -- a volleyball player, or a cheerleader, perhaps -- all the things that go with living in the valley of the sun. Instead, I was ivory-skinned, without even the excuse of blue eyes or red hair, despite the constant sunshine. I had always been slender, but soft somehow, obviously not an athlete; I didn't have the necessary hand-eye coordination to play sports without humiliating myself -- and harming both myself and anyone else who stood too close.Oh well. 

After putting my clothes away I took my bag of toiletries to the bathroom deciding that running a shower wasn't a half bad idea.Turning on the shower I undressed sitting naked on the toilet seat for a second before fishing into the back of my phone case to pull out my razor blade.I pressed it to the thin skin of my thigh for a second, pausing for no real reason, before yanking it through my flesh quick and hard.And again.Tossing the blade into the sink I stood and stepped into the shower letting the water flow turn red where it ran over my thigh.It stung.I washed my hair slowly, mostly watching the red fall down the drain.Eventually stepping out of the shower and drying myself off before wrapping some gauze around my leg and pulling on an old pair of sweats and a t-shirt.Wrapping my hair up in the towel I wandered back to my room sitting on the floor and slowly organizing my book into the new bookshelf.It took a couple of tries but eventually I got it right before falling into bed to go to sleep. 

Breakfast with Charlie was a quite affair, I’d forgotten how easy he was to live with.He left first giving me an opportunity to carefully reopen my cuts in the bathroom before hopping in my truck to go to school.It was a perverse kind of comforting that I knew with every step I took those cuts would stay open.I wrapped my leg in gauze again to make sure it wouldn’t bleed through my jeans.I didn’t really know where I was going when I pulled out of the driveway but I kind of figured the school would be on the main road, there was only the one.It barely took me 10 minutes to find it, though it looked more like a collection of square houses than a school.I parked near the building labeled ‘Main Office’ in a spot I was pretty sure was reserved for teachers before hopping out and making my way through the drizzle to start the day. 

The lady in the main office was not at all surprised to see me, I guess news travels fast in a small town. 

“You must be Isabella Swan, I have your schedule here, the best routes to your classes are highlighted on the map. And if you could get each of your teachers to sign this that’d be great.” She didn’t even give me a chance to say anything, which honestly was fine with me.I just nodded walking back out and taking my car around with the flow of traffic to the student parking lot.At least my car wouldn’t stick out either way.It seemed like most of the cars were old models, the fanciest one was a shiny volvo.That was definitely different from the norm in Phoenix where it wouldn't be unexpected to find a brand new Porsche taking up three parking spots. I glanced down at my schedule before getting out of the car, English. Fining the classroom I took the slip up to the teacher, a tall, balding man whose desk had a nameplate identifying him as Mr. Mason. He gawked at me when he saw my name -- not an encouraging response -- and of course I flushed tomato red. But at least he sent me to an empty desk at the back without introducing me to the class. It was harder for my new classmates to stare at me in the back, but somehow, they managed.

Dicks.

I looked down at the list of books the teacher had handed me, I had already read them all, most of them for class in Phoenix.Great.I wondered briefly if Renee would send me some of my old essays, she would probably consider it cheating even if I really had written them. 

When the bell rang, a nasal buzzing sound, a gangly boy with skin problems and hair black as an oil slick leaned across the aisle to talk to me.

"You're Isabella Swan, aren't you?" He looked like the overly helpful, chess club type.

"Bella," I corrected. Everyone within a three-seat radius turned to look at me.

"Where's your next class?" he asked.I had to check in my bag. 

"Um, Government, with Jefferson, in building six.” There was nowhere to look without meeting curious eyes.

"I'm headed toward building four, I could show you the way..."Definitely over-helpful.

"I'm Eric," he added.

I smiled tentatively. "Thanks."

We got our jackets and headed out into the rain, which had picked up. I could have

sworn several people behind us were walking close enough to eavesdrop. I hoped I wasn't

getting paranoid.

"So, this is a lot different than Phoenix, huh?" he asked.

"Very."

"It doesn't rain much there, does it?"

"Three or four times a year."

"Wow, what must that be like?" he wondered.

"Sunny," I told him.

"You don't look very tan."

"My mother is part albino.”He looked at me puzzled, is this really too small of a town for them to have heard about sarcasm?I thought I heard someone laugh behind me but when I turned to look I couldn’t tell who it was. 

"Well, good luck," He said as I touched the handle. "Maybe we'll have some other classes together." He sounded hopeful. I smiled at him vaguely and went inside. The rest of the morning passed in about the same fashion. My Trigonometry teacher, Mr. Varner, who I would have hated anyway just because of the subject he taught, was the only one who made me stand in front of the class and introduce myself. I stammered, blushed, and tripped over my own boots on the way to my seat. After two classes, I started to recognize several of the faces in each class. There was always someone braver than the others who would introduce themselves and ask me questions about how I was liking Forks. I tried to be diplomatic, but mostly I just lied a lot. At least I never needed the map. One girl sat next to me in both Trig and Spanish, and she walked with me to the cafeteria for lunch. She was tiny, several inches shorter than my five feet four inches, but her wildly curly dark hair made up a lot of the difference between our heights. I couldn’t remember her name, so I smiled and nodded as she prattled about teachers and classes. I didn't try to keep up. We sat at the end of a full table with several of her friends, who she introduced to me. I forgot all their names as soon as she spoke them. They seemed impressed by her bravery in speaking to me. The boy from English, Eric, waved at me from across the room.As we sat down I tried to at least be a somewhat active participant in the conversation while I picked at my pizza but it didn’t really work. I glanced around the room trying to see if I remembered anyone from my summers here when I saw them.Five strangers sitting as far across the long rectangular room from me as possible.They looked nothing alike but somehow very similar, with those dark eyes with bruise like circles under them standing out on their chalky white skin. 

“Who are they?” I found myself asking the girl next to me. 

“Oh, those are the Cullens,” She giggled, “Well most of them are, the blonds are Rosalie and Jasper Hale, the big guy is Emmett Cullen, the dark haired girl is Alice Cullen and the other one is Edward Cullen.”He glanced up at me for a second, as though he heard her say his name. I looked away blushing, turning back to the girl next to me a suddenly remembered the her name was Jessica. 

“They don’t look related…” I said, besides their inhuman beauty and eyes they shared pretty much no physical characteristics. 

“They aren’t, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen adopted them all I think.Except the Hales they’re foster kids.”She looked way too eager to gossip with me. 

“Aren’t they a little old to be foster kids?” I asked glancing back at them as the pixie like girl got up and danced across the cafeteria to dump her uneaten lunch in the trash. 

“Well they are now, they’ve been with Mrs. Cullen since they were 8, apparently she’s their aunt or something.”Jessica rambled as my eyes flew back to their table. 

“It’s nice of them to take so many kids in.”I said not really paying attention anymore. 

“Yeah I guess,” Jessica said grabbing my attention.“But Mrs. Cullen can’t have kids.” She said it as if this lessened their kindness.  
“So?” I asked maybe a bit harshly making her blush. 

“Nothing, just gossip.” She said turning back to her lunch awkwardly. 

"Have they always lived in Forks?" I asked. Surely I would have noticed them on one of my summers here.

"No," she said in a voice that implied it should be obvious, even to a new arrival like me. "They just moved down two years ago from somewhere in Alaska.” I felt a surge of pity, and relief. Pity because, as beautiful as they were, they were outsiders, clearly not accepted. Relief that I wasn't the only newcomer here, and certainly not the most interesting by any standard.“Yeah I know Edward is gorgeous.” She said catching me looking at him.“But don’t waste your time he doesn't date. Apparently none of the girls here are good looking enough for him.” She said as if someone had just stuck a sour grape in her mouth.I glanced back up at him and could see him grinning as if he was laughing at us even though he was looking the other way.After a minute they all got up and left, moving with a kind of grace that it was weirdly disconcerting. 

One of my new acquaintances, who considerately reminded me that her name was Angela, had Biology II with me the next hour. We walked to class together in silence. She was shy, too. When we entered the classroom, Angela went to sit at a black-topped lab table exactly like the ones I was used to. She already had a neighbor. In fact, all the tables were filled but one. Next to the center aisle, I recognized Edward Cullen by his unusual hair, sitting next to that single open seat. As I walked down the aisle to introduce myself to the teacher and get my slip signed, I was watching him surreptitiously. Just as I passed, he suddenly went rigid in his seat. He stared at me again, meeting my eyes with the strangest expression on his face -- it was hostile, furious. I looked away quickly, shocked, going red again. I stumbled over a book in the walkway and had to catch myself on the edge of a table. The girl sitting there giggled. I'd noticed that his eyes were black -- coal black. Mr. Banner signed my slip and handed me a book with no nonsense about introductions, just directed me to sit next to Edward who still looked like he was about to murder me.I walked back over sliding my chair as far away from him as possible before giving him a pissed off look that actually seemed to shock him out of it for a second. 

“What?” He said looking at me half angry and half confused. 

“Why are you giving me the death glare?” I asked shortly.“You don’t even know me.”He rearranged his facial features to look more calm but it looked like it took a lot of effort. 

“Migraine.”He said just as Mr. Banner started talking.I didn’t really believe him but at least he stopped glaring at me as I half listened to Mr. Banner talk about cellular anatomy.Something I already knew plenty about. 

The next day was at least less stressful.I read a few chapters of the Faulkner assigned for English and did some homework for Bio but other than that there wasn't much to do.I sat next to Mike in English and at lunch convened at the same table as we did before.I could see the Cullens across the room but decided to ignore them.If they had a problem with me I didn't care.Practically marching into Bio I took my seat next to him opting to pretend he didn’t exist. 

“Hello.” His voice rang like a bell, like music.It was totally unfair. 

“Hi?” I said giving him a confused look. 

“I just wanted to apologize for yesterday, I was having a bad day and I think it seemed like I was angry with you.But I wasn’t.”He paused looking like he was studying me.“I’m Edward Cullen, you must be Bella Swan?” 

“Yeah.” I blinked a couple times surprised by his turn around but we were interrupted by Mr. Banner starting the class. 

“Alright guys, you are identifying phases of mitosis on some slides of onion.No using your books. Worksheets are on your tables with the microscopes and slides.”Edward raised an eyebrow at me gesturing at the microscope. 

“Ladies first.” I just rolled my eyes puling the microscope towards me fitting the first slide in.At least I had already done this before so it would be easy.Adjusting the magnification I identified the phase easily. 

“Prophase.” I said confidently reaching for the worksheet. 

“Mind if I check.” He asked reaching out for the microscope.As I handed it over his fingers brushed mine.God they were cold, just as cold as the metal microscope.How odd.I let it go as he confirmed what I had said. 

“Prophase.” He barely even looked before writing it down and switching the slides out. 

“Anaphase.” He diagnosed the next one just as quickly. 

“May I?” I asked sarcastically but he passed the microscope to me with a crooked smile that had no right to be that cute.I was hoping he had been wrong but as soon as I looked through the scope I knew he was right.“Yup anaphase. Slide three?" I held out my hand without looking at him. He handed it to me; it seemed like he was being careful not to touch my skin again."Interphase." I passed him the microscope before he could ask for it taking the paper and writing it down.His handwriting was extremely neat, like fancy print font or something.That was weird. 

"So, Edward, didn't you think Isabella should get a chance with the microscope?" Mr. Banner asked coming up next to us right after we finished.

"Bella," Edward corrected automatically. "Actually, she identified three of the five.”Mr. Banner looked at me now; his expression was skeptical.

"Have you done this lab before?" he asked.

I smiled sheepishly. "Not with onion root."

"Whitefish blastula?"

“Yeah.”

Mr. Banner nodded. "Were you in an advanced placement program in Phoenix?"

"Yes."

"Well," he said after a moment, "I guess it's good you two are lab partners." He mumbled something else as he walked away. After he left, I began doodling on my notebook again.

"It's too bad about the snow, isn't it?I was hoping it would stick.” Edward said. I had the feeling that he was forcing himself to make small talk with me.

"Not really," I answered honestly, instead of pretending to be normal like everyone else. I was still trying to dislodge the stupid feeling of suspicion, and I couldn't concentrate.

"You don't like the cold." It wasn't a question.

“Not so much the cold, it’s the wet.”

"Forks must be a difficult place for you to live," he mused.

"You have no idea," I muttered darkly.

He looked fascinated by what I said, for some reason I couldn't imagine.

"Why did you come here, then?” No one had asked me that -- not straight out like he did, demanding, concerned.

"It's... complicated."

"I think I can keep up," he pressed.I paused for a long moment, looking up at him I didn't really see the harm in telling him, at least the part I was willing to admit.

"My mother got remarried," I said.

"That doesn't sound so complex," he disagreed, but he was suddenly sympathetic."When did that happen?”The bell rang and we collected out things walking out but he followed me seeming insistent on understanding. 

"September." My voice sounded sad, even to me.

"And you don't like him," Edward surmised, his tone still kind.

"No, Phil is fine. Too young, maybe, but nice enough."

"Why didn't you stay with them?"

I couldn't fathom his interest, but he continued to stare at me with those amazing golden eyes, as if my dull life's story was somehow vitally important.I swear his eyes were black yesterday…

"Phil travels a lot. He plays ball for a living." I half-smiled.

"Have I heard of him?" he asked, smiling in response.

"Probably not. He doesn't play well. Strictly minor league. He moves around a lot."

"And your mother sent you here so that she could travel with him." He said it as an assumption again, not a question.

My chin raised a fraction. "No, she did not send me here. I sent myself.” His eyebrows knit together. 

"I don't understand," he admitted, and he seemed unnecessarily frustrated by that fact. I sighed. Why was I explaining this to him? He continued to stare at me with obvious curiosity.

"She stayed with me at first, but she missed him. It made her unhappy... so I decided it was time to spend some quality time with Charlie." My voice was glum by the time I finished.

"But now you're unhappy," he pointed out as we paused in front of the gym where I had my next class. 

“I was unhappy anyway.” I said shrugging and waving goodbye as I ducked into the girls changing room to put on my gym shorts. I don't know why but he was easy to talk to.Like a therapist but less awkward.Maybe that’s what friends were supposed to be. 

 


	3. Bella

Two weeks later the snow stuck for the first time, the rain from the night before having frozen into ice on the ground. I walked very carefully to the truck mindful of my clumsiness not combining well with ice.The drive wasn't so bad though, I was careful and slow but my tires never slid around.When I got out of my truck at school, I saw why I'd had so little trouble. Something silver caught my eye, and I walked to the back of the truck -- carefully holding the side for support -- to examine my tires. There were thin chains crisscrossed in diamond shapes around them. Charlie had gotten up who knows how early to put snow chains on my truck. My throat suddenly felt tight. I wasn't used to being taken care of, and Charlie’s unspoken concern caught me by surprise.I was standing by the back corner of the truck, struggling to fight back the sudden wave of emotion the snow chains had brought on, when I heard an odd sound. It was a high-pitched screech, and it was fast becoming painfully loud. I looked up, startled. I saw several things simultaneously. 

Nothing was moving in slow motion, the way it does in the movies. Instead, the adrenaline rush seemed to make my brain work much faster, and I was able to absorb in clear detail several things at once. Edward Cullen was standing four cars down from me, staring at me in horror. His face stood out from a sea of faces, all frozen in the same mask of shock. But of more immediate importance was the dark blue van that was skidding, tires locked and squealing against the brakes, spinning wildly across the ice of the parking lot. It was going to hit the back corner of my truck, and I was standing between them. I didn't even have time to close my eyes. Just before I heard the shattering crunch of the van folding around the truck bed, something hit me, hard, but not from the direction I was expecting. My head cracked against the icy blacktop, and I felt something solid and cold pinning me to the ground. I was lying on the pavement behind the tan car I'd parked next to. But I didn't have a chance to notice anything else, because the van was still coming. It had curled gratingly around the end of the truck and, still spinning and sliding, was about to collide with me again. A low curse made me aware that someone was with me, and the voice was impossible not to recognize. Two long, white hands shot out protectively in front of me, and the van shuddered to a stop a foot from my face, the large hands fitting providentially into a deep dent in the side of the van's body. Then his hands moved so fast they blurred. One was suddenly gripping under the body of the van, and something was dragging me, swinging my legs around like a ragdoll's, till they hit the tire of the tan car. A groaning metallic thud hurt my ears, and the van settled, glass popping, onto the asphalt -- exactly where, a second ago, my legs had been. It was absolutely silent for one long second before the screaming began. In the abrupt bedlam, I could hear more than one person shouting my name. But more clearly than all the yelling, I could hear Edward Cullen's low, frantic voice in my ear.

"Bella? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." My voice sounded strange. I tried to sit up, and realized he was holding me against the side of his body in an iron grasp.

"Be careful," he warned as I struggled. "I think you hit your head pretty hard."

I became aware of a throbbing ache centered above my left ear.

"Ow," I said, surprised.

"That's what I thought." His voice, amazingly, sounded like he was suppressing laughter.

“Shut up.” I laughed but it only made my head hurt worse.“Ow that really hurts.” 

“You sure you’re okay?” He asked raising an eyebrow at me in concern. 

“Yeah, looks like I owe you one for getting over here impossibly fast.” I said making a face up at him. 

“What are you talking about Bella I was standing right next to you.” He said his tone turned serious. 

“Right.” I said as someone I didn't recognized helped pull Edward and I out from between the cars.I was on my feet and walking around when the ambulances arrived but they made me and Tyler get on stretchers anyway, especially after Edward said he thought I had hit my head.But he didn't have get on one the damn bastard. 

The hospital called my dad but he had been in Port Angeles so it was going to the him some time to get down here.I called him to tell him they had done an x-ray and didn't find anything but he still insisted I see a doctor before I leave and that he would be home ASAP.It took a hot minute but before long a doctor walked into my little emergency room cubby hole shutting the door… with Edward right behind him. 

“You must be Dr. Cullen…” I said, he looked like Charlie’s description except more like Edward. 

“Good guess.” He asked laughing as he looked at my chart. 

“No, you look a lot like your kids, you know in that weird way you all look alike.” I said a little bit done with them, not that the head ache helped my patients.Dr. Cullen looked at me weirdly before sharing a very concerned look with Edward.“Relax, it’s not like I care about whatever you are giving each other looks about.I just want to leave.” I was tired and it had already been a long day despite being like 8 am. 

“Bella can I ask you about your medical history quickly before you leave?” Dr. Cullen asked coming to sit on the edge of my bed.“Edward can step out if you would like.” 

“No it’s fine.”I said shrugging, it’s not like I really cared. 

“I just wanted to give you something for the headache but I need to know if you are on any medications.”He asked looking up at me kindly.He really did seem like a sweet man. 

“It’s kind of a long list.”I groaned leaning back on the pile of pillows behind me.He pulled out a pen looking at me expectantly.“Viibryd 40 mg, Abilify 10 mg, Lamictal 100 mg twice daily, Deplin 15 mg, Topamax 75 mg, Ambien 20 mg at night and a multivitamin every morning.”I glanced up to see Edward’s frozen frame against the door.He looked thoroughly shocked, as if he might actually know what all those were for.

“Okay, I’m going to give you this…” Dr. Cullen said ripping off a prescription for me.“Only take it if you need it and no more than twice a day.” He smiled softly at me before getting up.“You’re good to go, I think your dad is in the waiting room.” 

“Edward can you stay for a second?” I asked quietly folding my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. 

“Of course.”He said softly, almost the exact same tone as his father had. 

“If you don’t want to tell me how you did that, fine.But don’t think I’d tell anyone either way.It isn't like anyone would believe that you stopped a van with your hands anyway.And ah, if you don't tell me, I’ll figure it out myself.You’re a very interesting mystery.” I smiled brightly at him hopping off the bed and practically skipping out of the room leaving him behind. 

The next Monday morning arriving at school was remarkably stressful.I sat in my car for a good five minutes completely unable to get out. 

My anxiety was suddenly interrupted by a knock on my window making me jump hard, looking up Edward was on the other side looking down at me.  
“Yes?” I asked rolling down the window. 

“I was just wondering if you were going to sit in your car for the whole school day?” He asked with that stupid crooked grin. 

“I was considering it yeah.” I rolled my eyes. “Why?” 

“Mind if I sit with you?” He asked to my surprise. 

“I guess I don’t mind.” I gestured vaguely to the seat next to me.He stepped around my car quickly sliding into the passenger seat looking wholly ridiculous in his beauty sitting in my beat up truck.“Did you want to talk about something?” I asked breathing easier with him sitting next to me. 

“Yes actually.I wanted to make a deal with you.”He said turning towards me. 

“What exactly does this deal entail?” I looked up at him in confusion.

“A question for a question.But you can pass on a question if you need to.” He said, his eyes were light gold again today, like amber.“But you have to ask questions of equal value.So if I ask you your favorite flower you can’t ask me… how my parents died.”I narrowed my eyes at him briefly trying to figure out his motives. 

“Fine, are you starting with my favorite flower?” I asked jokingly. 

“Yes I would like to start there.” He just smiled at my disbelief. 

“Sunflower.” I glowered at his happy grin, but I couldn’t keep the smile from forming on my face too.“Favorite sibling?” I asked making him laugh loudly throwing his head back against the seat. 

“That is not the same thing!” He insisted. 

“Yes it is, its a favorite.” I playfully shoved his shoulder laughing as he stayed stock still. 

“Alice.”He finally relented grinning at me.“But only by a very small margin.” He added suddenly as if they could hear us.“Do you have any siblings?” 

“No, I wouldn't be shocked to have a half sibling in the future.” I said, it would be better, for my mom to have another kid, before I killed myself.“Though I’m very close with my dad’s best friend’s son who is pretty much my brother….How long have you lived with the Cullens?” 

“Almost as long as I can remember.”But that would be impossible, Carlisle would have had to adopted him very young.I mean the man can hardly pass for 30 he couldn't be more than 35.“Who are your dad’s best friend and his son?” 

“Billy and Jake Black, they live on the reservation.”He didn't seem wildly happy about that, making a slightly sour face.“I’m going to see him this weekend, for the bonfire.Wanna come?” 

“I’m not allowed on the reservation.” He said as if that was a normal thing.“Why did you really move to Forks? It seemed like you were holding something back when I asked before.”His question completely derailed my train of thought about why he couldn't go on the reservation. 

“I did tell you the real reason.”I said my voice suddenly shaky.Edward watched me for a second before relenting. 

“Favorite gem stone then.” He said attempting to pacify me with something easy. 

“Topaz.” I said, not really knowing until I said it but it was obvious why when I looked up into his eyes.“How did you know what those medications were for?” 

“I’ve read the vast majority if Carlisle’s medical texts?” He said slowly looking away from me.“How did you know I knew?” 

“You looked horrified when I listed them out.If you hadn’t known you would have just been confused.”I said, I mean my major depressive and anxiety disorder wasn't exactly a secret anyway. 

“You are much more observant than I give you credit for Bella.” He said smiling at me.“Do you want to go to class?”  
“Not until the start of next period.I’m _not_ walking in late.”I could absolutely not do that. 

“Okay, let’s keep playing then.” He just smiled easily at me waiting for me to think up a new round of questions. 

“What’s your full birth name?” I asked, I mean he couldn’t have been born a Cullen right. 

“Edward Anthony Masen Jr.” He said glancing out the window. 

“You’re a junior?” I asked laughing in surprise. 

“Why is that so surprising?” 

“I don’t know, you just don’t seem like a junior.” 

The hour flew by with us mostly sticking to stupid questions, about food and places we wanted to visit and things we wanted to do and books we’d read. 

“First period is about to end, do you want to go in for second or make a break for it?” He asked playful grin on his face. 

“Make a break for it?” I said, it would be nice, to have a stress free day. “Wanna do something?” 

“Sure, what?” He asked seemingly caught up in me just like I was in him. 

“I don’t know, honestly I’m not even sure what there is to do in town. The summers I spent here was all on the reservation.” Mostly honestly either in Billy Black’s house or on the beach.

“There’s an ice skating rink...” He said glancing over at me cautiously. 

“I can barely walk without slipping how am I supposed to skate?” I asked incredulously. 

“I won’t let you fall.” 

“Pinky promise?” I asked holding out my pinky. He looked at me confused for a second. “You’re supposed to lock pinkies with me, hold up your hand.”He copies my hand gesture and let me link my pinky around his before responding in kind. “Wow where did you grow up pinky promises were _it_ in the 90’s and 2000’s.”I put on a fake valley girl accent to make him laugh. 

“Will you let me take you ice skating now that I’ve pinky promised not to let you fall?” He said completely ignoring my prodding. 

“I guess so....” I relented fishing my car keys out of the cup holder I’d thrown them in. 

“Can we please take my car?” He said looking over at the Volvo parked 4 spaces away. “The gas mileage is so much better.” 

“Fine.” I didn’t want to admit how hard my heart started beating when I thought about getting out of the truck but I opened the door and jumped out before I had a chance to think too hard. When I froze before closing my door Edward came around the car closing it for me and standing between me and the rest of the parking lot. 

“Look at me for a second Bella.” He whispered lifting my chin with one of his fingers. “I will not let anything or anyone hurt you.” I just nodded stiffly and watched as he reached down and pulled the dent right out of my car with one hand. 

“Thanks.” I said quietly not really knowing what I was thanking him for, the car or the promise. He just smiled and looped my arm through his taking me over to his shiny Volvo. 

It was barely three minutes to the rink, the parking lot was empty and it looked like the lights were off. 

“Is it open?” I asked looking at him suspiciously as he parked.  
“No.” He looked back at me grinning. “Leave your bag.” I hesitated for a second, but hopped out of the car taking his hand as he lead me across the parking lot.He went to the side door fiddling with the handle for a second before swinging the door open and waving me in. 

“Are we breaking and entering?” I asked quietly as we walked into the dark, I couldn't see a thing. 

“Technically, but don't worry, I’ll hear anyone coming a mile away.” I had a feeling he was being literal.He let go of my hand for a second flicking the lights on, they lit up like flood lights, one at a time and with a surprisingly loud noise. 

He laughed, leading me over to the side of the rink where the skate booth was.Jumping over the counter he turned to me leaning over grinning that crooked smile.  
“Can I get your shoe size please ma’am?” 

“6.” I said laughing as he fished two pairs of black skates out jumping easily back over the counter. 

“Tie them tight, you have to keep your ankles straight.”He said as we sat down on a bench by the edge of the ice.He did his own very quickly, wrapping the laces up the black hooks before kneeling down in front of me, only halfway through the first skate.“Here you go.” He murmured, pulling the laces tight much more efficiently that I ever would.Pulling me up onto my feet he helped me find my balance, something that was more difficult than it looked. 

“Woah.” I grabbed onto his shoulders trying to get used to the instability of the blades. 

“I won’t let you fall.” He smiled when I looked up at him unsure. 

“Okay…” He laughed at the shake in my voice, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling open the half door to the rink.He went ahead of me, holding my hands firmly as I stepped out onto the ice, feet almost sliding out under me immediately, but he caught me, his arm wrapping around my waist to steady me.

“See, I won’t let anything happen to you.” I just nodded trying to keep my ankles straight as he pulled me out into the middle of the rink.I tried not to think about the fact that every time he said that it sounded like he was saying ‘I love you’. 

Or I might accidentally say it back. 

He made it look so easy, skating backwards seemly without even having to think about it.How was he so good at everything? Utterly unfair. 

He spun around so we were standing next to each other, “Here, just tilt your foot to the side and push off.” I tried to copy him as best I could.“Perfect, then the other foot.” 

It was kind of slow going but I got the hang of it after a second.Grinning he spun back so he was in front of me pulling me faster. 

We circled the rink a couple times, getting more used to the movements, before he let me go. 

“Edward!” I squealed still holding my hands out. 

“You’re doing great, don’t worry.” He smiled pulling farther away but still watching me closely.He was nearly halfway across the rink when the toe of one of my skates caught the ice sending me flying forwards with a shout.For a second I thought I was going to slam to the ice but Edward was scooping me up before I even got close. 

“Whoops.” He said smiling and holding me up bridal style, my arms reflexively curling around his neck.“Are you alright?” 

“Yeah.” I said breathlessly, looking up into his shimmering golden eyes.“You were—“ I made a vague gesture to where he had been across the ice. 

“I was.” His voice was cautious, concerned about what I would say. 

“Thanks.” I whispered caught up in the emotions that were swirling in his eyes. 

“Always.” He said it like a promise, like he was saying ‘I love you’ again.Maybe that’s what he wanted to say? That’s impossible, except… he didn’t know yet. He didn’t know about the broken glass in my head, the crazy.How could I ever tell him? 

 

It would ruin the magic in his eyes when he looked at me. 


	4. Bella

“Hey Bella.” Angela ran up behind me as we left English. 

“What’s up?” I asked hefting my backpack up farther on my shoulder. 

“Jessica and I wanted to know if you wanted to come up to Port Angeles to go dress shopping with us tomorrow?It’s only like two weeks till the dance.” She asked bouncing as she walked. 

“Um, I’m not going to the dance Ang.” I muttered awkwardly fiddling with my hair. 

“Why not?” She asked surprised.“I thought for sure Edward was going to ask you.And didn’t Mike and Tyler both ask you?” 

“Yeah, but I’m going to Seattle that day to that day.Besides I can’t dance.” It was a lame excuse but at least it would get them off my back, hopefully. 

“Well, will you come anyway? I need some help, and some buffering with Jessica.”She groaned at the prospect of an entire night with just Jessica. 

“Alright,” I laughed, “I’ll come for your sake, who’s driving?” 

“I am, thank you!” She half hugged me before running off to her next class. 

I laughed after her, turning to go to gym. 

Gym didn’t go any better than another day, we were still playing badminton and after yesterday when I hit both myself and Mike in the head with the racket on the same swing I kind of just hung back and let him play for the both of us. 

He actually did really well, winning two out of the three games we played.Well, he played. 

“That went really well.” He said clapping me awkwardly on the back. 

“Yeah good job Mike, you’re definitely better without me.”He seemed to not be able to think of a nice response to that as we returned our rackets. 

“So you really aren’t going to the dance?” He asked instead laughing me to sigh with exasperation.God could he just let up. 

“I’m really not going Mike.” I groaned.“I’m going to Seattle remember?” 

“Oh yeah, I just… I wan’t sure if it was just an excuse.Like you were nervous or something.” Talk about hitting the nail on the head.But I’m sure his guess for my dance anxiety was not accurate.“Or you wanted to go with Cullen.” He seemed rather deflated about that.“He didn’t ask you did he.” 

“No he didn’t ask.” Something I am very glad for.“He knows I’m going to Seattle and that I wouldn't be available.” 

“Oh, if I were him I would have asked anyway.” He muttered half to himself. 

“You did ask Mike.” I rolled my eyes walking back into the girls changing room. 

 

When I walked out of the room Edward was leaning against the wall half a dozen feet from the locker room door. 

“Hey.” I said in surprise, not expecting him to show up. 

“Did you want me to ask?” He asked raising an eyebrow when he looked down at me. 

“What?” I asked confused, how did he know we were talking about that. 

“The dance.” He said glancing up at Mike, his tall frame leaning down into me just a little bit more. 

“How.” I asked starting up at him in vague annoyance. 

“Not what I asked, did you, want me, to ask you?” He seemed far more insistent on knowing that he should be. 

“You do realize it’s a ‘girls choice’ dance?” I asked in disbelieve but rolled my eyes when he kept just staring down at me.“No, I didn’t want you to ask.I don’t do parties.” I just laughed patting him somewhat awkwardly on the head before stepping around him to go to the parking lot.I was only half a hallway when he caught up to me, still looking a bit wide eyed. 

“You don’t do parties?” He asked matching my stride. 

“I don’t do loud or crowded.” I muttered not looking up at him. 

“What are you doing in Seattle?” He asked watching as I stuffed my hands into my pockets hunching my shoulder’s lower. 

“Why do you get to ask all the questions?” I asked finally looking up into his smiling honey gold eyes.How could I not say yes to that excitement and innocence? “It’s the closest large book store.” 

“You are driving all the way to Seattle for a book store?” It was his turn to look unbelieving. 

“Yeah.”

“Would you mind if I came with you?” He asked quietly as we got to the outside door,pausing to the side.  
“Really?” I asked. 

“If you would allow me, I’d love to.” He somehow looked sincere. 

“Sure I guess, but I’m serious when I say I’m spending all day in the bookstore.” I warned him laughing a bit. 

“I know what I’m getting myself into.” He smiled his crooked grin as he pushed out the double doors and into the rain leaving me alone in the warm linoleum and brick. 

Why did I do that? I mean I like the boy but that is a lot of commitment.I don’t even know how I’ll be that day, what if I can’t go? 

I can’t cancel on him he was so nice about everything it would just make me feel guilty. 

I just shook myself off a bit pushing out the door to parking lot watching in fascination as the Volvo spun out faster than I’d ever seen it go. 

Driving home was a bit scary but the car didn’t slide at all despite the ice. 

Now I have to convince Charlie to let me go both to Port Angeles and Seattle, but I didn’t really want to ask permission because that would set a president. 

Hoping it would soften it up a bit I started making a lasagna for him when he got home. 

It was cooling on top of the stove when he walked through the door, storing his gun in the safe under the side table near the door as soon as he walked in like every time. 

“Home Bells?” He asked loudly, as I popped up in the doorway to the kitchen. 

“Home, want some lasagna?” I asked smiling at him as he hung his belt up on the coat hooks. 

“That sounds like dynamite.” He laughed coming into the kitchen as I sliced it up. 

“I wanted to talk to you about something by the way.” I said deciding not to delay. “Angela Weber invited me to go up to Port Angeles tomorrow to help them look for dressed for the dance, also I need to go up to Seattle soon to get some more books, and I wanted to go on Saturday in two weeks.I don’t want to go to the dance so I’ll go then.” 

“Oh,” He said as I passed him the plate sitting down across from him.“Did no one ask you to the dance?” 

“It’s a girl’s choice Dad, besides Edward Cullen wanted to come with me to Seattle so he’ll probably drive so you don't have to worry about the truck breaking down or anything.” 

“Edwin?” He asked in surprise, suddenly looking rather angry.“He’s much too old for you.”

“Edward. He’s a junior, he’s only like 6 months older than me.” I groaned, that was a bad idea. 

“Wait which one is he?” 

“The youngest, 6’something bronze hair.” I rolled my eyes, hadn’t he said he knew the Cullens? I guess it was just Carlisle he’d met. 

“Oh I guess that’s okay, but I don’t want you anywhere near that big one, what’s his name?”  
“Emmett Dad, I don’t know him.He seems very nice though he’s not scary or anything.” 

He relented a bit.“I guess you can go, but call me when you are on the way home, how late will you be tomorrow?” 

“Probably past midnight, just because of the long drive and we can’t leave until after Angela finishes swim practice at 5.” This seemed to make him much more concerned.“But I won’t be late with Edward, we’re probably going to leave early so we miss as much of rush hour as possible.” Maybe that would pacify him. 

“Well that’s good, just call me when you are on your way home.” 

“I promise Dad.” I said smiling and getting up with my half still full plate to dump it out and put the plate in the dishwasher before running upstairs. 

 

The next afternoon I met with Jessica and Angela after school. 

“Sorry guys, but luckily it’s dry land today so I’ll be out by 4:30-5ish.You guys can hang out or come back to pick me up or something.”Angela had picked Jessica up from school so we had one less car to deal with. 

“Well how about you give Jess your keys and we can take my truck home and then we’ll be back by 4:30 to pick you up?” I suggested, we’d probably stop off for some food too. 

“Perfect, here.” She dug around in her bag for a second before pulling out her keys, tossing them to Jess and disappearing into the girls changing room.

“Alright lets go,” I said turning to the exit,“You can follow my truck home.” 

She made a long suffering sigh but followed after me. “Okay.” 

“Everything alright Jess?” I asked as we walked into the parking lot. 

“Yeah, it’s just.I mean, this totally isn’t your fault, but Mike is always staring at you.”Ah, I was not the only one that noticed that. 

“Yeah how do I get him to stop?” I laughed awkwardly.The situation genuinely made me very uncomfortable. 

“You don’t like him?” She asked surprised. 

“I really don’t.I mean he’s a fine person, I just don’t like him like that.” 

“Edward Cullen on the other hand.” She said bumping her hip into mine jokingly.I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks. “Oh my god you really do like him.” This somehow seemed to surprise her too. 

The parking lot was quickly emptying but the Cullens were still there and I had a feeling Edward could probably hear every word we were saying despite the fact that he was 50 feet away and shouldn't be able to. 

“More than I should I think.” I laughed trying to keep myself from glancing over at him. 

“What does that mean?” 

“I like him more than he likes me.” Now I was the one to sound long suffering. 

“So it isn’t just a crush?” 

“No, it’s definitely not.” I rolled my eyes at her squeal and her hand grabbing mine. 

“Oh My God.” We had reached her car.“It’s like a month into school and you are fucking falling for him aren’t you?” 

“SSHH.” I gave her an annoyed look. 

“Wait, were you two together that day when you both skipped?” She was more observant than I wanted her to be. 

“Yes,” I relented. “But you can’t tell anyone, I’m serious Jess this isn’t gossip.You can’t tell _anyone_ if I tell you.” 

“Okay okay, I promise, but only if you tell Angela too.” She grinned, yeah I guess Angela was fine, she would never tell anyone. 

“We went ice skating.” 

“But the rink doesn't open till after school lets out.” I just kind of nodded waiting for her to get it.“Did you break in?” She sounded shocked but the grin on her face made me think it was fine. 

“Well technically I think he picked the lock on the side door but yeah.” I paused, thinking it funny how she was reacting.“And he asked to go with me to Seattle in two weeks.” 

“Oh my god he’s falling for you too!?” Her voice rapidly rising in pitch. 

“Shut up would you.” I gave her an incredulous smile and shoved her lightly to her car.“GO, follow me home.And then we can get some food I’m starving.” I just rolled my eyes at her grin turning back to hurry across the parking lot to my car. 

“You said yes right!” She shouted from her car.I just rolled my eyes giving her a thumbs up over my head without turning back to look. 

 

Seattle was actually kind of fun, the girls only took a few hours to find dresses, much faster than my mother ever would have been able to.I made comments when appropriate, encouraged them to try on some crazier dresses for fun, before long we were off to find a shoe store. 

On the way down the street we passed an adorable little book store that I couldn’t help but go in. 

“Go on guys, I’ll just be like 20 minutes.” I waved them off but Angela seemed hesitant. 

“Are you sure?” She asked.  
“Yeah I’m sure, I know where the DSW is anyway, I’ll meet you.” 

“20 minutes.” She said giving me a pointed look as I opened the door to the shop. 

“30.” I laughed ducking inside. 

I did manage to only take 20 minutes, it was a really cute bookstore but it didn’t have anything that grabbed my attention. 

I talked briefly with the store owner about Ender’s Game which I had just finished the night before. 

“Don’t bother with the sequels to be honest, they are no where near as good, and it just kind of ruins the first one for you.” She said making me laugh. 

“Good to know.Sorry I can’t stay longer, I have to be getting back to my friends.” 

“Oh yeah, come back soon.” She smiled waving at me as I left.It had been dark before I had gone in but somehow it seemed so much darker when I stepped out.The side street was essentially empty, only a few guys walking up behind me.I hurried down the sidewalk away from them, walking towards the busy street down there.It wasn’t the way I was supposed to go but at least hopefully there would be people down there.Before I got halfway to the street some big hulking guy stepped out in front of me from an alley way. 

“Hey sweet cheeks.” He said stepping around me to back me into the wall. 

“What do you want?” I asked, trying for pissed off instead of scared. 

“Just a little fun, and you are a hot one aren’t you.” He reached out to grab my waist but I hit his hand away.This was going somewhere bad fast.The other guys were gaining on us and it was too much to wish they weren’t with this guy. 

“Hey buddy, where you been?” One of the approachers asked, further cornering me.Oh fuck. 

“Just lookin’ for some fun.” He responded his eyes never leaving me.I took a step back hitting the brick wall behind me.Fuck Fuck Fuck. 

“Well it sure looks like you found some.” One of them laughed coming closer and grabbing my arm to yank me toward him.I took the opportunity to shove my weight against him knocking him back into another of them. 

“A fierce one, it’s so much more fun that way.” The big one laughed shoving me against the wall again pressing up against me.Urg god I could feel every inch of him it was disgusting. I tried to scream but he clamped his hand over my mouth muffling the sound. 

“Ah ah ah.” He laughed.“That would ruin everything. You scream and we’ll kill you bitch.”His hand was still on my mouth so I bit down as hard as I could breaking the skin and tasting his blood in my mouth.Gross. 

He shouted pulling his hand away and raising it to slap me but he didn’t get the chance.Something jumped down from the roof top landing behind him, and quicker than I thought possible, ripped him away from me sending him flying across the street, it was a clear 30-40 feet up where he hit the wall of the warehouse, falling to a crumpled heap on the ground. 

Edward. 

The rest of them ran but he didn’t let them all get away, catching the one who had grabbed me pulling him back. 

“Can I break his arm please?” He asked looking back at me, the guys arm held tight in his hand. 

“What?” 

“I won’t kill him as much as I want to..” His voice turned to a dark growl as he dragged the man closer.“But at least let me break the arm he dared to touch you with.” He was asking my permission, to break the arm of a man who had tried to assault me. 

“Go ahead.” I spat out taking a step closer to the man.“Fuck you,” I said raising my hand and slapping him as hard as I could across the face.My hand came down with a satisfying smack on his terrified face. 

Was he scared of me? I thought confused for a second, no, he was terrified of Edward.The boy who moved too fast, was too strong, and just over that edge of dangerous. 

Quite possibly a lot over that edge judging by his actions right now. 

Something I was very thankful for. 

I stepped back looking over at Edward.“Really, please do, he deserves it.” I said grinding my teeth together.There was no way I was the first girl who they’d cornered in a dark alley. How many other’s had there been? Dozens? 

It didn’t even seem like he exerted that much pressure but in an instant there was a sharp crack, a crunch of bone under his hands as he twisted the man’s arm crushing his wrist in his palm. 

He screamed as Edward let him go falling to the ground.I grabbed onto Edward’s hand quickly, seeing his still furious expression.I pulled him surprisingly easily down the street to the main road.It wasn’t as busy as I would have liked but Edward was here.I was fine. 

“Is he dead?” I asked as we walked by the big one, still lying on the ground. 

“No, just unconscious. But he won’t ever walk right again.” His tense posture was certainly intimidating, the way his shoulders leaned forward and his knees tensed, almost like he was ready to spring at the hint of danger.But his hand in mine was gentle, soft where his finger tips brushed against the back of my hand.I didn’t feel the least bit scared anymore.If anything I felt, protected. 

“Good.” I muttered continuing to pull him away from the unconscious hulking mass on the street.He stopped me at the end of the block when I shiver in the cold taking his jacket and helping me put my arms through the sleeves before returning his hand to mine.His jacket was nearly as cold as his hand but it warmed up with my body heat.It smelled like him, honey-cinnamon-lilac. 

We got a couple blocks away before he said anything, I was still busy trying not to freak out. 

“Distract me.”He said, his black eyes were still filled with anger, his shoulders tensed when I didn't say anything immediately.“Do you want me to track down the rest of them?”I wasn't sure what he wanted me to say, if he wanted permission or not.He sounded very serious, and if I was anywhere close to what I thought he was, then he could. 

“A little bit, but I don’t want you to leave.” I glanced up at him as we walked down the street. 

“I’m sorry Bella, I’m so sorry.” 

“Why?” I asked surprised at his guilt ridden expression.“You didn’t cause that…” 

“I promised I wouldn’t let anything hurt you…” I’d almost forgotten, last Monday before we’d gone ice skating. 

“You kept your promise.I’m not hurt.Just a little freaked out.” I laughed breathlessly, my lungs felt like they were shaking.Now was not the time for a panic attack.He must have heard my breath come faster, my fingers shaking in his. 

“Bella?” His voice was soft as he pulled me gently towards the street light so I could see better.“Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine.” I said but the air rushed out of my lungs and it felt like I couldn’t fill them again.I couldn’t see anything past the halo of the street light, the dark city surprisingly quiet around us. 

“Are you lying to me?” He asked softly crouching down so our faces were at the same level.I looked up catching his golden eyes looking so concerned. 

“Yup.” I said resolutely biting my lip. 

“How can I help?” He watched my face carefully.I didn’t know how to answer so I didn’t.I just let my body react like it wanted to, throwing my arms around his neck pulling him towards me.His arms came around me pulling me even closer as he stood lifting me off the ground as his arms locked around me firmly.I pulled my legs up quickly twisting them around his hips but I didn’t need to, he had no trouble holding me up with his arms around my waist.I let that mystery go for now. 

For a while he just stood there holding me tightly against his chest as I got my breathing under control again.Just as I was calming back down again my phone rang, the Kim Possible ring tone emanating from my jean’s pocket. 

“You might have to put me down now.” I sighed, not really happy about it.But he let me down gently anyway, his arms still looped around me as I pulled my phone out. 

“Hello?” I answered not bothering to check caller ID. 

“Bella where did you go?” Jessica asked, I could hear the music from her car in the background. 

“I ran into Edward, he can drive me home you guys don’t have to worry.”I said into the phone as I watched Edward’s still tense body. 

“If you say so, be safe Bella and call if you need anything.”Jessica added before hanging up. 

“How did you find me anyway?” I asked as soon as Jessica was gone. 

“Alice.”He responded as if that explained everything. 

“What?”

“Alice told me you would be in trouble, but she wasn't that specific so I followed you up here.Just so I would be close enough to help in case something happened.”  
“How did Alice know some random dudes in Port Angeles would attack me?” I asked suspicious. 

“She has, premonitions.Ones that are always right.”He said, like she had magic or something.I decided to leave it for now. 

“So I know you don't want anything but I need food.” I said feeling my stomach gurgle.I bet he could hear that… gross. 

“Italian?” He asked, “There’s a place around the corner.” 

“Sure what the hell I could eat some pasta.”I said walking a tiny bit shakily onto the sidewalk.Edward’s hand in mine pulled me forward, leading me inside and requesting a secluded spot to eat.We got the corner booth in the back of the restaurant.It was perfect.With our cokes set and my linguine on the way we could start up our game again. 

“Are you going to tell me your theory?” Edward asked twirling his fork between his fingers. 

“If you admit you can read minds.” I responded smirking and giving him a pointed look.“What is he thinking about?” I asked glancing over at a tubby white guy at another booth. 

“Sex.” Edward answered back automatically, going around the room and pointing out the notable people.“Dinosaurs, cats, school, her new PTA responsibilities.”He trailed off looking back at me.“I can read the mind of every person in this room except for you.When I look to you… I get nothing.It’s fascinating, and incredibly frustrating.”I frown, I wasn't really surprised but I wasn't expecting that reaction. 

“How does that work? And why don't you hear me?” I asked expecting he probably didn't know the answer. 

“I have no idea how it works, as for why I can’t hear you I don’t really know.My current guess is that your mind just works differently than everyone else and I’m not picking it up.Like you’re AM and all I’m getting is FM.”He shrugged.

“What, is there somethings wrong with me?” I asked but Edward just laughed lightly leaning in.  
“I just told you I can read minds, and you’re worried there’s something wrong with you?”Edward grinned his crooked smile at me.

“So wait, why did you pretty much freak out on me in bio?”I asked, suddenly remembering how odd that had been.I had hoped the mind reading would explain it but apparently not. 

“What do you think I am Bella?” He asked, reaching halfway across the table but not quite close enough to touch where my arms were folded on the table. 

“The Quileute would call you a Cold One, but most people would say vampire… It was my favorite legend of theirs when I was little, the legend of the origin of their people, the wolf people.” I couldn't meet his eye for a second but did when one of his hands came to rest over my forearm. 

“I could smell it on you Bella, and I wasn't prepared… for fresh blood to be right next to me.”I jerked my arm out from underneath his automatically, of course he knew.“I’m sorry, it was so overwhelming I couldn't think.It felt like you were attacking me.” He made a face I couldn't quite recognize.Somewhere between apologetic and concerned but not really either.“I’m sorry for how I reacted.But mostly I’m sorry for the invasion.I had no right to know.” 

“They all know don't they.”I said harshly, sitting up straighter to get just a little bit farther away from him. 

“I didn’t tell them.I would never.” He said retracing his hands and folding them back up on his lap. 

“But you didn't need to.” I groaned rolling my head back. 

“No…I didn’t.”He confirmed looking down at his hands. 

“Which is not actually any of your faults because I basically shoved it in your face without knowing.”Edward wisely chose to stay silent.“Okay we’re not talking about that right now.”I said as the server dropped my pasta off for me.I poked at it absentmindedly for a few minutes, thinking. 

That means he knew when we went ice skating, he knew about the broken glass when he looked at me like I was the most important thing in the world, when he kept saying ‘I love you’ with different words.He already knew. 

“Please Bella, you need to eat.”He whispered letting his hands rest on the table again.I shoved a forkful of linguini into my mouth just to spite him.I really shouldn't be mad this is my fault. 

“I don’t have the strength… to stay away from you Bella.But if you want me to go.I will disappear in an instant if that’s what you want.”Edward said, looking like he expected me to send him away. 

“Don’t” I reached out grabbing one of his cold hands in mine.“I’m afraid.”I could feel Edward tense, his hand freezing up.“Not of you, I’m afraid to lose you.I’m afraid to be alone again.I don’t…”I took a deep breath to quell my anxiety. 

Edward slid around to my side of the bench entirely too fast for a human, pulling me into his arms carefully, delicately.But also desperately. 

“I’m your’s as long as you want me, you don’t know how long I’ve waited for you.”Edward whispered pressing a kiss to my hair.“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.” 

“What a stupid lamb.” I said trying to laugh a little. 

“What a sick masochistic lion.” He responded humor tinting his tone as he squeezing me tight before letting go, leaving one arm draped over my shoulders.We only had a few moments of comfortable silence before my phone rudely interrupted.It was Charlie of course. 

“Hey.” I said rubbing my forehead as I answered the phone. 

“Hey Bells.Just wanted to know when you’d be back?”Charlie’s voice sounded casual and unconcerned and a little fake.It was probably just all his time as a cop that made him paranoid.I looked at Edward quizzically but he just shrugged unhelpfully. 

“I was actually about to call you… Would it be okay if I slept over at Jessica’s house?She wants me to help her figure out how to do her hair or something I don't really know.I’ll be back early tomorrow morning.”Edward didn’t look entirely surprised by my response. 

“I guess that would be fine… Do you need me to drop of pajamas or anything?”I just raised an eyebrow at Edward but he shook his head. 

“No, I’m just gonna steal a pair of hers.I’ll come back home in the morning to take a shower.”I was somewhat eager to get him off the phone, a little bit concerned he would be able to hear the lie in my voice. 

“Okey-dokey Bells, remember I’m going fishing tomorrow so I’ll be gone by daybreak and won’t be back till nightfall.” 

“Yeah Dad, I remember.”The phone clicked off and I stuffed it back into my pocket. 

“I take it you don’t intend to go to Jessica’s.” Edward murmured leaning against the back of the bench as I ate some more of my pasta. 

“Yup.I still have about a million and a half questions for you and I intend to get answers.”I smirked as Edward laughed lightly. 

“And how does that plan work?”He asked one side of his mouth quirking upwards in amusement. 

“You’re going to answer my questions because you want to, because you don’t like having to pretend to be someone you aren’t, not when it matters.”Edward looked up at me in surprise, golden eyes wide. 

“Are you sure you aren't the mind reader?” He asked jokingly pulling out his wallet and taking out a 50 tucking it under one of the half-empty coke glasses.“Let me go get the car, it isn’t far.Are you alright on your own for a few minutes?” When he said it it didn’t seem patronizing in the slightest, just concerned. 

“Yeah, I’m alright.” I smiled as he leaned down kissing the top of my head lightly.He seemed reluctant to go, but I couldn't quite see why so I smiled reassuringly up at him.He smiled back down at me before turning back and walking swiftly out of the restaurant. 

I turned back to my linguine taking another bite as I snuggled into his jacket.It was a thick black leather jacket built to look like there was a hoodie underneath.I pulled the hood up over my head zipping up the hoodie part but leaving the leather unbuttoned. 

I finished the linguine figuring he would be quick with the car before leaning up against the corner of the bench to wait for him.I wrapped my arms around me stomach snuggling into the jacket as I did. 

He was gone no more that 5 minutes, walking back through the front door and was back to the table before I could even slide out of the booth.The amused smile on his face as he held out his hand to help me up caught me off guard. 

“What’s funny?” I asked as he pulled me up, leading me out of the restaurant. 

“You look adorable in my jacket.” He said, not even trying to stop the grin on his face widening.“I wasn’t expecting haw much I like that.” 

I rolled my eyes laughing at him as he opened the car door for me.He had managed to park it right outside the restaurant which was lucky. 

“Where are we going?” I asked not sure if he was going to take me home after I told Charlie I wouldn't be coming back.

“Home.” He said, I assumed he meant his home. 

“Where you live? With the rest of your family?”I asked as if this wasn’t the dumbest most obvious question ever. 

“Yes, does that make you nervous?” He asked looking more at me than the road. 

“What if they don’t like me? And please look at the damn road will you.” I said pointing to an oncoming car. Not that we weren’t safely in our lane. Edward laughed. 

“First of all, they aren’t home right now. Second of all, they’ll love you. Third of all, I could drive blindfolded better than you ever could unhindered.”Edward’s smile made me smile too, made me feel warm. 

“Okay but Rosalie definitely hates me.” I shot back raising an eyebrow. 

“Rose doesn’t hate you, she thinks I’m being an idiot and shouldn’t be putting you or the rest of us at risk.”Edward leaned a little bit closer to me. Enough that part of me thought maybe it was just instinctual. “She’s right of course.” 

“What does she think your going to eat me?” I asked leaning back against the window and sitting crosslegged in the seat. 

“No, I have good control, as long as you aren’t... actively injured I’m fine. Jasper on the other hand would not be able to handle even the smallest amount of blood even from a ripped scab or something. Also the Volturi are a concern.”I did not miss his uncomfortable albeit slight pause before mentioning my bad habit. 

“The whaturi?” I asked making Edward laugh a bit. 

“The Volturi are like the royal family, they set the laws and enforce them. The big one being no human are allowed to know we exist. We are supposed to either kill or turn any that do. A law which I am currently of course breaking as is the rest of my family.”He was driving way way to fast I suddenly realized glancing at the speedometer. We were going nearly 120. 

“Is it really necessary to be going this fast?” I asked feeling like I had to grab onto something suddenly. 

“We’ll be home in half an hour, just relax and ask me more questions.”He said, his right hand drifting over to rest on my knee. 

We talked about pretty much nothing for most of the journey, it was only when we got close that I calmed my nerves and asked what I wanted to know. 

“Will the Volturi hurt you?” I asked delicately placing my hand on top of Edward’s where he had left it on my knee.

He sighed. 

“Me, probably not. My family to get to me. Yes.” He responded his expression hardening. “Aro, their leader, finds me... potentially useful so he wouldn’t kill me unless absolutely necessary. But only Alice an I are afforded that lenience, and maybe Jasper.”I could tell he was trying to make the situation sound less serious than it obviously was. “They are collectors of sorts.They like to keep talented vampires close.Alice is the one they want most, she can see the future.It’s not the most reliable because people change their minds all the time but it is still incredibly useful. And Jasper, he feels other people’s emotions, and can control them.”

“So if they find out about me... what will happen?” I ask, my fingers drumming nervously on the back of Edward’s hand. 

“They won’t.” He’s fingers twitched under mine. 

“Theoretically?” I needed to know what I was getting into, just so I could prepare myself. 

“We would have to turn you. And hope Aro was in a good enough mood to not kill you.” He admitted, although by his expression the idea clearly pained him. 

“Oh, okay.”I just shrugged, I don’t know what I was expecting but it didn’t seem to bad to be a vampire. 

“Okay?” Edward asked glancing over at me. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Everything you do defies expectations.” 

“What did you think I was going to do? Open the car door while you were going 120 and leap out?”I asked trying for funny but apparently Edward was not a fan of jokes that involved me dying. Great that was like 80% of my humor off the table. 

“I don’t know what I was expecting but calm and unbothered was not it.”The car suddenly swerved to the left making a sharp turn up a driveway. 

“Woah a little warning!” I said gripping onto his arm and the dashboard trying to steady myself. I let him go awkwardly trying to pretend I had not just suddenly grabbed onto him at the hint of danger. He just laughed. Of course he did, he was in perfect control, I felt a bit like I was spiraling. But hey, it was a good ride. 

The car slowed to a stop inside of a giant garage at the base of what appeared to be a modern mansion. No surprise they lived in a place like this. 

“No one’s home, it’s just us.” Edward said as he appeared suddenly on my side of the car opening my door. I swear he was in the drivers seat less than a second ago. 

“When are they coming back?” I asked stepping out of the car on shaky legs gratefully takingEdward’s hand as he led me up the stairs and into the house. 

“Tomorrow night at the earliest.” Edward opened the door at the top of the stairs leading me straight into a solid white kitchen. Every surface was white or marble or glass making it look like the light in the room was emanating off every surface. “Esme designed and redid the whole house.” He must have known what I was thinking, probably not hard considering my currently slack jaw. “Want the tour?” He asked. 

“Sure” I said spinning on the spot to get a better look at everything. He led me through the house slowly, showing me every room and letting me stop to make fun of him for the wall of graduation caps. 

“How many are yours?” I asked flicking one of the tassels. 

“22.” He said pausing on his way up the stairs. “High school and college.” He added before taking the last few steps. We took a brief tour in Carlisle’s office but didn’t peak in anyone else’s bedroom. 

“And this would be mine.” He said swinging the door open and motioning me inside. It was the complete opposite of my small and cramped childhood bedroom with only the one window I kept covered 24/7. In this room one wall was all window, overlooking the forest where the sun would rise tomorrow morning. 

“Wow.” I whispers looking out to see the star filled sky.Spinning around the other wall was covered in shelves, half books the other half records, an antique record player in the corner. By the window there was a wide black leather couch but no bed. “No bed?” I asked gravitating to the book shelves. 

“I don’t sleep.” He responded standing off to the side of the room. 

“Never?” I asked reading through the titles, 20,000 Leagues under the Sea and Dune,Catch-22 and The Count of Monte Cristo. 

“Not a wink in the last 100 years.” He responded taking a step forward so he could see which ones I was looking at. 

“You are always welcome to my personal collection.” He said nodding to the books. He knew how to make a girl happy. 

“How are these organized?” I asked pulling out a well worn copy of Hamlet. 

“Books by genre, and then personal preference within that genre. Music by year and then personal preference.”He said absentmindedly.“But Alice is harping on me about not putting books by the same author together so I might reorganize.”

“But it’s more of an adventure if you have to search for the book you want.” I said laughing and flipping open Hamlet to opening scene. 

“Well for you, I know where everything is.”He smiled as I read through the first few pages. 

“It’s my favorite Shakespeare, of the ones I’ve gotten around to seeing I mean.”I said already drawn into the soft yellowing pages. 

“What no Romeo and Juliet?” Edward asked sarcastically taking a few steps towards me. 

“No way, they kill each other because they are too stupid to communicate affectively.” I said grinning.“Besides, the whole play takes place over like 5 days, who falls in love enough to not be able to live without someone _that_ quickly?” 

“I did.”He said giving me a smile I couldn't quite decipher. 

“Liar, you were just fascinated by my weird brain.”I rolled my eyes sliding Hamlet back in its place between Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf and A Raisin in the Sun.

“It’s a beautiful brain.”He admitted cupping the back of my head gently. 

“How would you know you can’t see it.”I said jokingly but leaned into his touch anyway. 

“I don’t need to see how it works to know how beautiful it is.”His thumb brushed against my forehead before dropping to his side again. 

“Okay wait,” I was getting distracted. “I’m supposed to be asking you questions.” 

“You’re welcome to read, I don’t mind.” He responded settling down on one side of the couch sounding like he would be perfectly happy to sit there and watch me read all night. 

“You are not getting out of this by bribing me with books, although that is a good strategy.” I sat down on the other side, toeing off my converse so I could curl my legs up and wrap my his jacket around me. 

“Noted.” He smiled softly, tilting his head to the side like he was trying to memorize every freckle on my smiling face. 

“So you don’t sleep, you don’t eat...”I trailed off. “But you do drink blood?” 

“Animal blood yes.My family... we chose not to feed from humans.” He had a pained expression on his face, maybe that hadn’t always been the case. I wasn't going to ask either way. 

“How does that work? Like how can your body turn blood into apparently amazing amounts of energy?” I asked leaning forward. 

“I don’t know, we aren’t exactly dissectible...As far as I know no one understands how we exist, just that we do.” Edward seemed highly disappointed in this fact and to be honest I was too. 

“Why do you go to high school?” I asked incredulously making him relax into a light laugh. 

“Just for something to do.And we need some amount of real transcript to apply to colleges.”He responded as I pulled a thick knit white blanket off the back of the couch pulling it over me. “Are you cold?” He asked drawing his eyebrows together. 

“No I’m alright, this blanket is so soft.”I burrowed into it closing my eyes for a second. 

“How old are you?” I asked playing with the edge of the fabric. 

“17” he responds automatically. 

“How long have you been 17?” I rolled my eyes a bit at the dodge, I think he was so used to lying it just came out without him even really thinking about it.

“A while...” I kind of gave a him a look. “I was born June 20th 1901, making me over 100 years old.”

“Best thing you’ve ever done?” I asked sitting up eagerly. 

“Met you.” He answered seemingly without having to think about it. 

“Liar,” I said blushing but he just shook his head.“Favorite place than.” I said switching up tactics. 

“Alice, Jasper, and I snuck down to the Philippines 20 years ago to see the coral reefs.”He said looking out the window. 

“Wow, is scuba diving as amazing as it sounds?” I asked tracking his surprised expression. 

“We didn’t scuba dive, we don’t ah, have to breath. And we sink. So we just walked through the reef. Or around it in any matter.”He looked back over at me like he was gauge my reaction. As if I might freak out at any moment. 

“Okay first of all, I’m not going to freak out on you. Oh no you might snap and kill me I’m sure you can guess exactly how alright with that I am.”Maybe I was still a little mad he knew without my permission. 

“Please Bella, don’t say that.” In that moment he looked like he could have cried. 

“Second of all you don’t breath?” I asked kind of regretting my previous statement. 

“We have to breath to speak and smell things, but other than that we don’t actually have to do it. It gets a little uncomfortable after a while being without the sense of smell, besides it’d be weird if we didn’t breathe.”He clearly didn’t want to change topics but I intended to be rather insistent about it. 

“And you sink? Can you swim?” I asked scooting a little bit towards him. 

“With effort we can potentially swim but we are something like 3 times denser than water so even with air filled lungs we sink quickly.” I could almost picture him underwater, hair curling in the currents. 

“What are the reefs like?”I asked trying not to get distracted. 

“Beautiful. Most of the fish get scared away by us but what we got to see was amazing, every color you could ever think of.”He smiled softly at me and part of me suddenly thought he might not be talking about the reefs. 

“Can you hunt underwater?” I asked making him laugh loudly. 

“Yes, and no shark doesn’t taste very good.”He looked at me like he couldn’t believe I was sitting there in front of him. 

“What?” I asked wringing my hands together nervously. 

“Most people find it very difficult to surprise me. You seem to do it without effort.” 

“Only because you can’t read my mind.”I said rolling my eyes. 

“It’s not that. Trust me, I would just be surprised by your mind instead of your voice.” He responded, I really didn't know what to say to that. 

“Do animals taste better the more closely related they are to humans?” I asked not really wanting to talk about me. 

“I never thought about it like that.Maybe.” He paused for a second glancing out the window.“Mammals taste better than non mammalians, carnivores better than herbivores, but we all have different preferences.” 

“Well what do you like then?”I asked lowering one of my legs to dangle off the side of the sofa.He looked at me like I was crazy. 

“Why would you want to know that?”He asked. 

“Isn’t that a normal thing to ask? Don’t most people like to know their… partner’s food preferences?” I didn't really know what to call what we were doing.It didn't feel like boyfriend was the right word. 

“Most people’s _partners_ don't drink blood as a sole food source, or any food source.”He responded raising an eyebrow and quirking his lips like he kept doing overtime I said something unexpected. 

“Humor me.”I said smiling innocently. 

“Mountain lions.”He responded carefully, just barely rolling his eyes.But he moved across the sofa so he was sitting right next to me, one hesitate hand reaching out for my cheek.“Could you just… stay very still for a moment.”He asked, his eyes glancing down at my lips. 

“Yeah.” I whispered as he got closer, his hand wrapping around the back of my head gently pulling me in. 

The first brush of his lips was cold, not like ice, but like stone.Hard and smooth.I couldn’t help but lean into him kissing him firmly.He responded with enthusiasm, fingers curling in my hair. I reached up to wrap my arms around him and then in the blink of an eye he had pushed me over onto my back on the sofa, poised above me kissing me hard and fast and beautifully and then he was gone.I sat up quickly to see him on the other side of the room, hands pressed to either side of his head as if he was trying to stop them from doing what they wanted. 

“Are you okay?” I asked scooting back on the sofa as far away from him as I can. 

“Am I okay?Bella I could have just hurt you very badly.”I took mental stock of my body quickly, everything felt the way it did this morning. 

“You didn’t…”Oh wait it didn't feel the exact same, my thigh was bleeding again, it had reopened shit.I glanced down to see little droplets of blood soak through my jeans.“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry Edward.”I said pressing down on the cut hard trying to make it stop but it just kept coming through my jeans. 

“Don’t apologize, just… come with me.”He said opening the door of his room back up. I stood very conscious of the fact that there was a red stain on my jeans growing larger by the second.I followed him down the hall to Carlisle’s office stepping in to see him going through the drawers of the desk.I didn't need to be a doctor to recognize the stitching supplies he pulled out. 

“Do you mind?” He asked waving his hand in the general direction of my leg.I just shook my head.He moved around the desk quickly pulling me up and sitting me down on the hard oak surface.“Could you?” He asked quietly, I unbuttoned them quickly pulling them down over my thighs and kicking them off.I could see his jaw tense as he got a first hand look at all of them in their neat little rows.He knelt in front of me resting his forehead on my knee briefly before grabbing some gauze to soak up some of the blood.“This is deep Bella.”I didn't answer.“Little prick.”He whispered before taking a needle full of I assumed morphine and injected it around the wound site.“It’ll take a second.” His quiet voice sounded like he was in pain.I didn't know if it was the fact that he was so close to flowing blood or the reality of what I had done that was causing that. 

“You don't have to wait.”I said chewing on my lip. 

“I’m waiting.”He said firmly standing up and grabbing the little curved needle and thread of the desk behind me.“Hold pressure.” He said handing me a new wad of gauze. 

“I’m sorry.” I whispered doing as instructed. 

“You don’t need to apologize Bella.I just wish… I could fix everything for you.”He threaded the needle. 

“I don’t know if that’s possible.I’m pretty broken.”I said as he lifted my hand to get a glance at the wound again, pushing it back down when he saw it was still bleeding a bit.

“You aren’t broken, you’re sick.”He whispered. I didn’t say anything, just sat there for a minute or two waiting for the pain killer to kick in. 

He took my hand moving the gauze to check the wound, brushing a finger over the edge of the cut he asked “Can you feel that?” I just shook my head. 

He knelt down again, taking the threaded needle and putting in the first stitch.“How about that?” 

“No, completely numb.”I said, though I could still feel a slight pinch of the needle. 

“Do you want to tell me about it?” He asked, his fingers brushing over the little indented red lines that sat at the rise of both my thighs.“You don’t have to.”He reassured me. 

“Four years, every kind of therapist or spiritual healer my mother could think of.Nothing’s helped.Except you.” Edward froze mid second stitch.My hand shook a bit but I reached over to rest it where his shoulder met his neck as he went back to the stitch. 

“I help.”He said quietly tying it off. 

“Yeah,” He started the third one.“I feel… around you.Normally I’m just… numb.” I looked up at the ceiling as he finished the third and fourth stitch.“Or anxious.” I laughed without humor.He was silent.Somehow this was still impossibly hard to talk about.Edward rolled up the rest of the thread, seeming satisfied that the 5 stitches were enough, tossing it onto the desk and standing.He pulled my phone out of his jacket’s pocket (I was still wearing it) holding it out for me to open.I did without asking what he was doing. 

“Next time you feel like doing this, even if you’ve already done it.” He said presumably entering his phone number into my phone.“Promise me you’ll call.Even if you just need someone to stitch you back up.”He said handing my phone back and wrapping some gauze around my thigh. 

“Promise.”I said retracting my hand and twisting it with the other in my lap. 

“Come here.” He whispered, scooping me up into his arms and carrying me back to his room.He set me down by the door shuffling through his dresser before pulling out a pair of grey sweatpants and coming back over to me.“I’ll go throw your jeans in the washer.”He said kissing me on the forehead briefly handing me the sweats before disappearing down the hall again.I pulled them on careful not to rip the stitches before curling up in the blanket again.I already felt like I was falling asleep. Edward was back in only a few seconds sitting down next to me smiling faintly as I yawned. 

“You should get some sleep, it’s 2 am.” He whispered wrapping an arm around my shoulders. 

“Probably.” I said leaning against his shoulder and closing my eyes. 

“Do you want me to take you home?” He asked half into my hair.I shook my head burying my face in his button down. 

“Can I sleep here?” I asked biting the inside of my cheek. 

“Of course.” He said as I snuggled into him already drifting off. “Come on, lie down with me.” 

I let him adjust us both so we were lying on the wide couch, me hold on top of him still wrapped in his jacket but I didn’t care I thought as I pillowed my head on his shoulder.It was perfect. 


	5. Bella

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love hearing back in the comments thank you so much for writing to me!

I woke up with a gasp scrambling clawing to get it off get it off get it off. In an instant the blanket and jacket were ripped off of me freeing my arms and I was pulled up to a sitting position. Which of course, reminded me exactly where I was. 

“Edward.” I still felt like I could barely breathe, the air catching in my throat every time I tried. He was kneeling in front of me arms hovering by my sides. 

“Hey, hey, I’m here. You’re alright. Deep breathes.” He whispered running his hands up and down my arms trying to get me to relax. “What do you need?” He asked carefully. 

“I need you to get rid of it.” I could barely speak my hands trembling so hard as I tried to pry my phone case off my phone. When I finally got it off I fished out the razor blade I kept there holding it out to him. “Get rid of it.”He held out his hand for my shaky fingers to put down the little piece of metal. His hand closed around the offending instruments and I could hear him crush it in his palm tossing the bent remains onto his desk. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked as my breathing finally got under control. 

“You’re going to laugh.” I said wincing. 

“I really won’t.” He responded his voice hard and sure. 

“I have a ah, a recurring nightmare about being buried alive, trapped in a coffin.” I whispered biting on my lip hesitantly. “Which is both ironic and impossible. But claustrophobia doesn’t exactly respond to reason.”At least I felt like myself again.“What time is it?” 

“Nearly 6, you’ve been asleep for 3 hours and 43 minutes.”He responded as if that was just a constant tally he kept going in his head. Which wouldn’t be surprising if it was true. 

“Could’ve done better but I’m not going to fall asleep again now.”I sighed, I didn’t take my sleeping pill. My fault.

“Do you need to be home before Charlie leaves for work?”He asked standing. 

“No, just before he gets back.” I said standing up too and stretching my arms above my head. I chose not to comment on how his eye drifted down my body as I moved. 

“How about some breakfast?” He asked leading me out of his room and down the hall

“You guys have food?” I said disbelieving. “Why?” 

“Don’t you think someone would notice if we never bought food?” He said laughing and skipping the bottom stair. 

“I mean maybe. Someone who’s already suspicious.”I said shrugging and following him into the kitchen. 

“Like you?” He said spinning around and grinning at me mischievously. 

“Exactly.” I laughed as he holding the fridge door open with an outstretched arm to show me it was completely full. I glanced around for a second, this fridge was better stocked than mine and I actually ate. 

“Um, some scrambled eggs would be good?” I said seeing a dozen in the corner. “Put some veggies in them...” I trailed off ducking under his arm to look in the produce drawer. Sifting through it I pulled out some peppers and broccoli only for them to be plucked out of my hands by Edward.“Hey!” I said laughing as he nudged my around the island to go sit down. 

“Sit, eggs are coming.”He said smiling as he pulled the eggs and butter out of the fridge too.I sat, watching him as he moved around the kitchen grabbing a pan and turning the stove top on. 

“What are you thinking about?” He asked cracking a few of the eggs into a bowl to scramble. 

“I’m trying to imagine you eating… but I’m coming up blank.” I said propping my head up with my elbows on the counter. 

“Eggs or what I actually eat?” He asked clearly trying to keep his voice even. 

“What you actually eat.”I said rolling my eyes at him.“Do I ever get to see that?” 

“NO.” He said harshly his back turned to me as he chopped up some of the peppers too fast for me to track his hands. 

“Too scary?” I said faintly, watching the muscles in his back tense. 

“If it was that I would take you out and show you right now, you could use a healthy dose of fear of me.No, if you were there when I was hunting I couldn’t guarantee that I wouldn't lose control and kill you.”His voice was hard and angry, he poured the bowl of eggs into the the pan with the vegetables as he spoke.

“I’m sorry.” My fingers automatically jumping to my thigh still wrapped in gauze. 

“No…” He glanced over his shoulder looking at me with a pained expression. “No part of this is your fault.I am… I’m a monster Bella.”

“For a monster you are surprisingly concerned about keeping me alive and happy.”I said frankly leaning back on the tall wooden chair I was sitting in.“A difficult job I know.” 

“You do seem to be a remarkable magnet for trouble…” He responded after a minute tipping the eggs out of the pan and onto a plate. 

“I assume you are including yourself in that category.”I said smirking as he handed me the food and a fork. 

“Irrevocably.”He said seeming no where near as amused about it as I was. He turned around grabbing something off the counter to hand to me.My pill box, he must have gone to get it for me. 

“When did you get that?” I asked taking it from him and popping open the right little box. 

“After you fell asleep, you didn’t take your sleeping pill last night.I’m sorry I didn’t think of it.” 

“My fault, I didn’t think about it either.”I murmured throwing a couple pills in my mouth and washing it down with a sip of water. 

“What do you want to do today?” I asked after swallowing a mouthful of eggs.For someone who doesn't eat he’s sure good at cooking. 

“Well, it’s going to be sunny so…”He trailed off leaning over the counter. 

“Will you show me why you don’t go out in the sun?” I asked eagerly, maybe a bit too eagerly. 

“Of course.We can go for a hike.”I winced making him laugh. 

“Hiking is the kind of thing that leads to twisted ankles.”I said making a face. 

“I’ll just run you up there then.” He said grinning at me, eyes wide with mirth. 

“What?” I asked, pausing in eating my eggs. 

“Nothing, do you want to go home to shower and change clothes?” He asked clearly thinking about something else entirely. 

“That’d be good. I could use a human minute.”I said eating the last bite of eggs.“So how do you know how to cook? Do you remember from being human?” 

“I don’t really remember much of being human, most of us don’t.”He kind of shrugged taking my plate back and setting it in the sink.“I’ve taken some cooking classes out of sheer boredom though.”I couldn't help but laugh, why spend time or money on a skill you can’t even use.Well, only if you have way too much of both I guess.   
“Wait but if you can’t eat then how do you take a cooking class.I’m sure that involves some tasting.”I said sarcastically. 

“I mean can you eat dirt?” He asked stepping around the table and swinging me off the stool grinning. 

“I did that once, on a dare.Not as bad as you would think…”I said making him laugh. 

“Yes well, the only difference is we can’t digest it, so we have to cough it back up.” 

“Ew.” 

“Pretty much yes.” He rolled his eyes darting away from me for a second.Coming back he handed me my folded up jeans and converse.“We can take the car.” He said, I justlaughed letting him scoop me up in his arms. 

“Okay but let me drive.”I insisted rolling my eyes at his indignant look. 

“No way.”He laughed carrying me out the front door and onto the driveway. 

“Your driving is horrible!” I giggled poking him in the sternum. 

“Bella my reflexes are so much better than yours, trust me there isn't anything unsafe about my driving.”I made an annoyed sound but let him put me down on the passenger seat anyway.In an instant he was in the drivers seat making me jump. 

“Sorry.” He said half laughing and half wincing.“It’s so easy to be myself around you.” 

“I’m glad.”I said smiling affectionately at him for a second before his own grin made me look down at my hands as I blushed. 

“God you are gorgeous.”He said brushing one of his fingers over my flushed cheek before starting the car and peeling out of the driveway.

“Liar.” 

“Never.” 

 

We were at least a mile away from the house when Edward groaned. 

“What?” I asked glancing over at him. 

“You have visitors.” 

"Who?" I asked wondering who could be annoying him.  As we turned onto my street I got my answer. Billy and Jacob Black were outside my house. 

“Oh great.” I groaned as he slowed to a stop in front of my house. 

“I’ll be in the woods behind your house when you get rid of them.”He said smiling though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“You can’t come in?”I asked my hands floating to my thighs. 

“If you need me I can, but it’ll probably just make it worse.”I just sighed and biting my lip but I stuffed my converse on anyway. 

“Take the car back to your place, woods behind the house in 30.”I said squeezing his unyielding hand.

“Deal.” He smiled as I got out of the car hurrying over to the pair in my driveway. 

“Jacob.” I grinned hugging him quickly,“I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.” 

“It’s been like a week Bella.” He laughed picking me up when he hugged me back.But he put me down quickly, looking frankly a little freaked out.Or like he smelled something gross. 

“Yeah well, you’ve grown 3 inches at least.God Jake you are shooting up.”I let go fishing my key out of my jeans pocket and unlocked the door.“Charlie is fishing right now, he isn’t going to be back till at least 8 or 9.” 

“Oh,” Billy said in a way that made me think he already knew. 

“Yeah sorry, you should have called ahead.”I said walking through the door with Billy and a Jake trailing behind me. “I’m leaving in a few too, going to go study with a friend. Just came home for a quick shower.”I threw my keys on the kitchen table and grabbed a glass of water. 

“Well we really only came to drop off some fish fry for Charlie.”Billy said giving me a weird look. 

“Oh his favorite.” I grinned taking the bag Jacob held out to me. “Thanks!” 

“Exactly who are you hanging out with?” Billy asked wheeling himself into the kitchen after me. 

“Edward Cullen.” I said raising an eyebrow like I was challenging him to say anything.“We have a biology test next week and he said he would help me study.” 

“Ah, was he not in the car with you when you arrived?” Billy asked his eyes hard and cold. 

“He was actually, he offered to pick me up from Jessica’s house this morning.He thought it would be better if he let me talk to you guys on my own.”Jacob scoffed behind Billy rolling his eyes. 

“You know Bella, maybe you shouldn't spend time alone with him.” Jake said inching around Billy. 

“Jake it’s my decision.” I said leaning against the counter with my water glass. 

“You don’t know what your getting yourself into.” He said, his hands were shaking in anger. 

I just rolled my eyes downing the last of the water before putting the glass in the dish washer. 

“I know exactly what I’m getting into Jacob.” I snapped “Now I really think you could go, I have to take a shower.” 

“Of course,” Billy interrupted from behind Jake’s shaking form.“We really just came to drop off some fish fry.” He held up his paper bag dropping it on the kitchen table.“Let’s _go_ Jake.” 

Jake just stared at me for a second before turning back and taking his dad back outside. I shoved the fish fry in the fridge taking the stairs two at a time, somewhat ill advisedly but I made it to the bathroom safely.I undressed tossing my clothes in a pile before carefully unwrapping the gauze strip.I had some more in my room anyway.Climbing into the shower I let the hot water pour over me.I needed a moment to let my muscles relax. The hot water did wonders for my tight muscles, but I washed my hair pretty quickly anyway before shaving and taking a second to look at the newest edition to the family.It looked to be scabbing up well around the stitches.I’m sure it won’t reopen again. Shutting the water off I reached around the curtain and felt for the towel rack, finding it completely empty. 

“Damn it.” I groaned, looking up at the ceiling briefly.“Edward?”There was a chance he hadn’t made it back yet.He had 10 more minutes to get here. 

“Yes?” I hadn’t heard him come in the house but his voice was right on the other side of the door. 

“Could you just grab me a towel from the closet across the hall?” I asked hesitantly potentially regretting this decision.Now that I was thinking about it I could have just gone out and gotten it myself, Charlie wasn’t home.Too late now I thought as the bathroom door cracked open and Edward’s hand slid through the gap with a towel. 

“Thanks you’re the best.”I smiled swiping the towel from his hand which quickly disappeared. 

I dried my self off quickly wrapping the towel around myself before padding out of the bathroom back to my own room.I didn’t know where Edward had gone but I wasn't that worried about it as I pulled out a comfortable pair of jeans and a flannel that could take whatever ‘hiking’ he intended. I chose to ignore the fact that my hair was still damp, even if it might freeze outside.Digging around I managed to find a kind of matching pair of socks, they were both pink, before practically jumping down the stairs to lace on my boots and pull my coat around me.I grabbed my keys off the kitchen table and paused for a second grinning to myself.I can’t believe I’m doing this.Falling in love.God this is ridiculous.I stepped out into the back yard glancing up at the sky to see the cloud cover was getting thinner.Edward was leaning against a tree at the edge of the woods smiling like an idiot at me. 

He looked like a dream. 

When I reached him across the lawn he pulled me up into his arms swinging me around making me giggle like mad.Setting me down he kissed me sweet and gentle and I sighed into his chest letting myself relax. 

“You gonna tell me where we’re going?” I asked against his lips as I kissed him. 

“Nope.” He murmured.“Do you trust me?” He had a glint in his eye that made me a little nervous. 

“Theoretically…” I said nervously biting my lip. 

“Then hold on spider monkey.”He laughed swinging me onto his back giving me barely a second to cling on before he took off.I held on as tight as I could but I knew that even if that wasn't enough Edward would never do anything that could hurt me. He’d promised. 

I glanced up from where I had hidden my face in his shoulder to see the rushing of the trees past us.It was beautiful, in the slightly terrifying way that Edward was sometimes.I could feel the wind whip through my hair and dance around my skin and it felt like flying.I think I said that part out loud because Edward laughed.With a bit of caution I let my arms loosen from around his neck, when I let go he held onto me, one arm wrapped around his back to hold me steady as I stretched my arms out to feel the wind and the exhilaration. 

I could feel him slowing down after a minute or two so I wrapped my arms around him again nuzzling into his neck and placing a small kiss against the cold skin behind his ear. 

If this wasn't magic I don’t know what was. 

He finally slowed to a stop a dozen or so feet in front of a meadow I could only half see through the trees.It looked beautiful, tall grasses peaking through the sprinkle of snow, the whole area flooded with sunlight.He let me down, catching me when my knees gave way.

“Are you okay?” He asked urgently looking me over. 

“Okay? I’m amazing, talk about an adrenaline rush.” I grinned up at him regaining my footing before gleefully pulling away from him running the last few feet to the meadow.The sunshine was brilliant and for the first time I realized exactly how much I missed it.I’m not ashamed to say I did that spinning in happiness thing.It felt amazing.I looked back to see him still standing in the shadows watching me like a statue.An incredibly beautiful statue with a wistful crooked smile gracing his lips. 

“Whatcha thinking bout?” I asked smirking as he rolled his eyes. “I’m not running anywhere, you are stuck with me.”I said seriously stepping forward to take his hand and pull him gently into the light.The second the sunlight touched his skin it refracted off bouncing rainbows of light in every direction.Honestly I couldn’t give it justice with words.It wasn't a sparkle or a shine.It looked like a halo of light emanating from his skin.Like his skin was made of some form of opalescent diamonds. 

“Wow.” I whispered as he stepped completely into the light.For a second I wasn't sure he wasn't a mirage, but then I laughed at myself for thinking it in the first place. 

“What?” He asked softly letting his hand drop from mine. 

“Nothing.” I shrugged stepping closer to brush by fingers against his cheek.Edward looked down at me for a second before groaning and dropping his head to my shoulder. 

“What’s wrong?” I asked, my fingers automatically flying to his hair. 

“I keep thinking that I will get used to not being able to hear your thoughts but it just keeps getting more frustrating.” He said, humor tinged by annoyance. 

“I was thinking you looked like a mirage and that you might just disappear.” I confessed rolling my eyes at him. 

“Never.” He murmured running his nose over my neck before kissing me softly.But the soft didn't last long as I pulled him farther into the meadow wrapping my arms around his shoulders as we stumbled backwards.It only took a few feet before I tripped laughing as he caught me and lowered my gently to the ground.With him on top of me I made quick work of the buttons on his shirt, his own hand inching over the waist band of my jeans and up under my shirt as his lips danced across my neck and the top of my breasts.God he made it so hard to breathe sometimes.I nearly pushed his shirt and coat entirely off his shoulders before he stopped me, pulling away and giving me a meaningful look that made me groan. 

“I don’t have as much control as you give me credit for Bella.Don’t start something we can’t finish.” He warned but his fire black eyes told me exactly how hard it was for him to pull away, how they kept drifting down before snapping back up.How desperately he wanted me. 

“And exactly why can’t we finish it?” I asked grinning mischievously up at him.Something about it made him groan and hide his face in my neck. 

“Love I could hurt you so easily, I could reach up intending to hold your face in my hand and accidentally crush your skull.”Even as he said this I could feel his lips brush against the base of my neck. 

“You would never.” I scoffed twisting my fingers through his hair.“Just admit it you’re a prude.”I laughed looping one of my legs over the back of his thigh and arching my back just slightly up into him.“I guess I should have expected such, born in 1901.” I sighed for dramatic affect as he groaned into my skin. 

“Bella there are not words for how… unfairly tempting you are being right now.” He murmured pulling back to look at me.His eyes had lightened slightly but hadn’t yet lost that desperate fiery look. 

“I make no promise to be good.” I responded as he sat up and pulled me onto his lap.He looked me up and down suddenly, a different look on his face. 

“Have you…” He asked as I rolled my eyes. 

“Too much to say sex?” I asked laughing.“No, I’ve fooled around before, but nothing below the belt.” I said as if it were the most tragic thing.“Would it bother you if I had?” I asked when I stopped pretending to be a stage actress. 

“No,” He said honestly. “Just curious.” 

“Why? Have you managed to get to 110 without ever having sex?”I asked in complete disbelief. 

“Yes…” He responded hesitantly, as if my reaction might be bad.I just kind of blinked at him. 

“How?” I asked making a vague gesture at his face and bare chest as his shirt remained unbuttoned.He just laughed at me for a second. 

“It isn’t like I’ve not gotten offers.I was never interested. And then of course I met you and now…”He paused briefly.“Well, let’s say you bring out the human in me.” 

“Do vampires not have sex drives?” I asked confused, it seemed to me that at least Emmett and Rosalie must considering how much they hang on each other. 

“Not the same way.It usually takes years before you can really think about anything besides the thirst for very long.”He said watching my face closely.“What exactly were you thinking? That we just have sex constantly?” He laughed. 

“I mean kind of yeah, you don't eat, you don't sleep, and you don’t get tired.”I said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, which honestly it seemed like to me. 

“Well you aren’t wrong I guess.It took Emmett two years to get to marry Rose but after that, well I couldn't be within _5 miles_ of either of them for a solid decade.It even made Carlisle and Esme uncomfortable, they had to kick them out.”He laughed. 

“Oh no, you’re one of those no sex till marriage people.” I groaned letting my arms flop down onto the grass. 

“I’m much more concerned about how fragile you are then your marital status.” He responded rolling his eyes but he moved off of me regardless laying down next to me. 

“Oh, well then you can just turn me.” I said shrugging and looking over at him.His expression made me groan.“Which you have no intention of doing.”I said my tone dark. 

“I refuse to damn you to this life.”He said his expression hard and smooth. 

“I’m not going to argue with you about this, go talk to Jasper.”I said rolling my eyes and turning back to look at the sky. 

“Jasper?” He asked confused. 

“Didn’t you say he could feel other people’s emotions?”I responded not looking over at him.

“Yes.”Was all he said, but I could feel his eyes on me. 

“Okay.”He paused for a second, “How are you not afraid?What I did last night… you saw how easy it was for me to hurt those… animals.How does that not scare you?” 

I took a deep breath looking down at him, my arms wrapped around his neck. 

“You are…frightening.Because if you ever did want to hurt me I could never get away, I could never fight you off or stop you.But I trust you, so I’m not scared.” 

“You’re unbelievable.” He murmured pressing his lips to my skin again, everywhere. 

“Well aren’t you lucky.”

“Luckiest man alive… or dead.”


	6. Bella

My shaking hands searched my bag for my phone.It took me a couple tries to open it but when I did all I had to do was hit speed dial. 

“Edward.” I could hear the fear in my own voice, shit. 

“Bella? What’s the matter? Where are you?”He sounded urgent, I could hear the wind passing over his phone as he ran. 

“I’m ah, I’m in, I’m in my car, pulled over on the road.Um, coming back from the, the reservation.”I said trying to keep my breathing even but totally failing.“I’m having a panic attack.”I choked out.“Just, just tell me about something.”

“Remember that list of all the books you’ve read?”I laughed shakily, I’d forgotten about that, I’d showed it to him ages ago. “I’ve got some suggestions.”I made a vague approving sound trying to count my breathing. “First of all, how have you not read _Slaughterhouse Five_? That definitely should be at the top of your list.Also I really think you would like _Old Man’s War_ , its about a future in which the human race has entered into a war with aliens and the precautions they take to ensure that it won’t lead to the end of humanity. But it’s also about love and loss and the relationships soldiers form with each other.If you liked _Ender’s Game_ you will definitely like it.”He spoke softly but let the enthusiasm for the topic drift through to his voice. 

“Ender’s Game was really good.”I whispered my voice sounding a little bit better. 

“I know it was, I’m coming up from your right okay Bella?” I glanced over to the forest on my right but I couldn't see him yet. 

“Okay.”My voice was still faint and it still felt like there was a vice around my throat but at least I wasn’t struggling to breathe anymore.And then in an instant the passenger’s side door was opening and Edward was sliding into the trunk next to me. 

“Hey.” I said phone still to my ear, I could hear my voice sound through his phone as well, slightly delayed. 

“Hey you.” He smiled tossing his phone aside and pulling me onto his lap effortlessly.He took a second to examine my face, and probably listen to my heart rate.“I was also thinking you might want to read _Flowers for Algernon_.It’s sad but it makes you think a lot about how people value intelligence over kindness.If you need a good non-fiction _Why People Believe Weird Things_ is fascinating, but it will make you question your own fundamental beliefs.” Sarah Hefferson back home had told me that _Flowers of Algernon_ had been great, and then in the same breath told me it made her feel like crying for a straight week. 

“Have you read _Notes from Underground_?” I asked abruptly. 

“No,” He responded tilting his head to the left just slightly.And I thought vampires didn’t have unconscious habits.“What’s it about?” 

“It’s basically the ramblings of a lunatic who has removed himself from society about the nature of man and stuff.It’s really good, weird but good.” I pressed the base of my palms to my temples flexing and unflexing my fingers repeatedly moving them through my hair.This would usually be the point where my mother would yank my hands out of my hair but Edward just ran his hands over my sides and back letting me do what I needed to to calm down.Well, I knew he would’t let me do what I really wanted to do but I was trying to pretend that wasn't a thing, besides I didn’t have my razorblades anymore.

“That sounds interesting, and probably ironically relevant to my existence.”He said making me laugh a bit. 

“Yeah you probably would think so.”I rolled my eyes but laced my fingers with his instead of letting them continue to tangle with my hair. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked quietly looking up at me through his eyelashes in a way that made him look indecently timid for a creature such as himself.I squeezed his hands to stop myself from running my fingers through my hair again. 

“Billy basically threatened to tell Charlie everything if I don't stop ‘fooling around’ with you.”I bit the inside of my lip lightly. “And Jake doesn’t want to talk to me. I mean I could hear him in his room and Billy just kept saying he wasn't home.”

“I’m sorry…” Edward whispered tilting his head down. 

“Why? It isn’t your fault.”I said nudging his chin up with my finger. 

“It might be, Jacob’s tribe, they’re wolves, their part of the story is just as real as ours.Jacob is about the age when he would start transforming.Of course only because we’re around.” 

“And you think Jake might have transformed already?” I asked in disbelief. 

“I think he probably has been for a while.”He said making a face. 

“What?” I asked when his eyebrows drew together. 

“Jake’s going to hate me now.He’ll know exactly what I am and every fiber of his being will rebel against it.”I can’t lose either of them, I could feel my throat close up again making a pathetic gasping/choking noise. 

“It’s okay, you won’t lose either of us.I’ll make sure of it okay?” Edward tipped his forehead against mind.“Breathe with me Bella.”He whispered taking long deep breathes. 

For nearly 20 minutes we just sat there, me curled into his chest matching my breathing to his. 

“I’m sorry, this is stupid…” I said when I finally got it under control again. 

“It isn’t stupid, we’re talking about your family.I would be just as concerned if we were talking about my siblings.” He said, his cold hands resting on my shoulders felt nice through my t-shirt. 

“I need to talk to Jacob.” I said groaning and leaning my head on Edward’s shoulder.I took one last deep breath letting it out in a huff before climbing back into the drivers seat. 

“Let me talk to him.” Edward nearly pleaded clearly concerned about what Jake might say. 

“We’re both going.” I said firmly restarting the engine. 

“I can’t go onto their territory.” He said warning me by putting one of his hands over mine on the wheel. 

“I know.We’re going to drive right to the edge and let them come to us.I assume you know the exact border.”I said clenching my jaw. 

“I do, but don’t you think that’s a tad antagonistic.” He said but I could see the grin he was trying to keep off his face. 

“Yes, yes it is. But I’m mad.”I did a quick and ill advised U turn, but I knew Edward would have stopped me if someone was coming, and continued back the way I had come.It wasn't even a full two minutes until Edward told me to stop. 

“How close are we?” I asked decidedly not looking over at him. 

“10 feet give or take.”I let the car lurch forward again.“Okay now you really need to stop.”I slammed the breaks putting the car in park and getting out quickly.I walked forward looking off into the trees. 

“Are they coming?” I asked not bothering to glance back. 

“Yes.”He said quietly much farther behind me than I would have thought.“Could you just… take a few steps back towards me.” He said his jaw clenched.I rolled my eyes a bit but relented anyway going back to stand beside the truck.After a few minutes of tense silence I could hear something moving around in the woods.“They’re here.” Edward whispered just loud enough to hear. 

“I need to talk to Jacob.” I said loudly.“Right now.”I know I have a good ‘pissed off’ voice, I inherited it from my mother thank you very much for noticing. 

“They want us to come off the road to talk in the woods, in case anyone drives by.”Edward said not looking the slightest bit pleased about it.I stepped around the truck anyway picking my way over the large tree roots until we were far enough in that we couldn’t see the road, well I couldn't anyway. On the hilltop in front of us I could see a large russet wolf pacing. 

“Jake?” I asked scrambling forwards towards him. 

“Jacob, please come down here she’s going to hurt herself trying to get to you.”Edward said wincing, probably at whatever Jake was thinking.“He’s coming one second.” He said to me taking a few steps back from the invisible line that separated the two men I loved.Fuck them.Jake reappeared except now he was human again, but clearly not totally because he just leapt down that hillside and that was like 40 feet. 

“Jake.” I sighed stepping forward and hugging him hard.“God you are so warm, do you actually have a fever?” I asked taking a step back awkwardly. 

“No, we run a constant 108.” Jake said his expression oddly serious.I suddenly realized he wasn't actually looking at me but at Edward over my shoulder. 

“I made him come to get you to stop hiding from me.”I said before rolling my eyes and shoving Jake’s chest hard.“Pay attention asshole.” He finally looked down at me in surprise.“You aren’t answering your phone.Just because you’re Sirius Black on steroids does not mean you get to avoid me.Jake you’re practically my brother I mean come on don’t do this to me.”My hand went back to my hair.He looked like he was thinking it over but his eyes just kept flicking back to Edward.“Hey Edward are you going to eat me?” I asked rolling my eyes. 

“No.” He said his voice harsh but firm and sure. 

“Will your family eat me?” I said looking right into Jake’s eyes. 

“No.” 

“Jake, you know how hard this is for me.Just being alive has felt like an uphill battle for years.He makes me happy.Truly happy.”I looked down, not able to meet Jacob’s hard eyes. 

“I’m not avoiding you because of what I am.” He said harshly glaring over my head at Edward. 

“Fuck you.” I snapped grabbing his attention again.“You do not get to give me an ultimatum asshat.Call me when you get over yourself.” 

I turned away walking back to Edward, “Oh and by the way Jacob, your dad is threatening to break the treaty by telling Charlie everything.”I threw over my shoulder walking the last few feet to the truck with Edward in tow.“You drive.” I whispered climbing into the passengers seat and practically curling up in a ball.I hear the engine roar to life but I don’t really pay attention after he swung the car around and peeled away. 

“I think that worked, but if it was possible I’d be having a heart attack right now.” He said resting his hand on the back of my shoulder.I just laughed. 

“Jake wouldn’t hurt me.”I said confidently as I could with my shaking voice. 

“You’re forgetting about the 4 other werewolves all behind him discussing the pros and cons of just killing me and taking you back to the reservation.” 

 

When we pulled up in front of my house I could see Charlie walking around the living room. 

“Do you want me to come in with you?” Edward asked softly, his hand brushing against my shoulder. 

“No, no, it’s okay.I’m alright.” I combed my finger’s through my hair to make sure it didn’t look like I had been messing with it.“Come back later?” 

“I’ll be back at 10.” He kissed my forehead lightly before disappearing out of the car. 

I slid out easily, my feet a bit unstable on the ground. 

Taking a deep breath I steadied myself walking up to the door quickly and unlocking it. 

“Hey Bells, where ya been?” Charlie asked as I walked into the living room.He was watching baseball. 

“I went to the reservation.”I muttered flopping down on the couch across from his leather recliner. 

“How is he?” 

“I don’t know, Billy said he was sick and asleep.But I think he just doesn't want to talk to me.” I could at least confess in my father part of the truth.I wanted to talk about it with someone other than Edward anyway. 

“Why would he be mad at you?” He asked, surprise drawing his attention away from the game. 

“Edward, basically.All the sudden he’s pissed that I’m dating him.And I think frankly that he’s pissed that I’m not dating _him._ Which is ridiculous I mean he’s my brother.” I groaned burying my face in the couch cushion. 

“Do I need to go talk to him?” Charlie asked, the chair squeaking as he moved to get up. 

“Absolutely not.” I shot up glaring at him.“You are not allowed to threaten people into being my friend.” 

“I wasn’t going to…” He started but my glare stopped him. 

“No talking to Jake _or_ Billy you hear me?” 

“I hear you.” He settled back down into the chair. 

“Thanks, I think I’m just going to do some work, what do you want for dinner?” I asked getting up and returning to the front door to hang my coat on the hook there. 

“I think I might just order pizza if that’s alright with you hun.” The pizza place in town was really good to be fair. 

“Yeah that’s fine, get some with spinach and mushroom for me.” I reminded him running up the stairs. 

I laid down on the bed letting the day wash over me.God, I had been so mean to Jake, I mean I was mad but that’s no excuse to be cruel. 

I had yelled at him. 

He was going to hate me. 

He was never going to talk to me again. 

I would never see him again. 

Why had I pushed him? 

If I had just let it be, if I had just apologized…. 

Without even thinking I rolled over dropping myself to the floor and prying up the floorboard under my bed.I pulled out the pocket knife I hid under there yanking it through the skin of my forearm three times before I even really knew what I was doing.As soon as the red came rushing out I threw the knife away from me forcefully, listening as it clattered across the floor. 

Stupid stupid stupid.

Why did I do that? 

I laid there on the floor until I heard the window slide open, his near silent footsteps across the floorboards. 

“I’m sorry.” I said barely a whisper as he lifted me off the floor cradling my in his arms. 

“I know.” He murmured just as softly kissing my forehead gently as he sat down on my bed.Adjusting me carefully so I was leaned against his shoulder he pulled my arm out pressing gauze to it carefully. 

“How?” I asked closing my eyes and turning into his shoulder. 

“Alice.” 

“I was going to call.” I muttered into his shirt wincing as he rubbed a topical anesthetic in before replacing the gauze. 

“You were going to lay there until Charlie came up to tell you the pizza arrived.” He spoke softly but somewhere in his voice I could hear the hard edge.“You would have lived but the blood loss would have been enough to require transfusion.”His clinical assessment made me shutter, air catching in my throat.“Please Bella, talk to me. Why don’t you want my help?” His voice had softened, taking on a miserable quality.

“I’m hurting you.” I could feel him stiffen, his muscles locking up around me for a second before his head dropped, his temple brushing against my forehead. 

“Immensely.” He whispered, his voice sounded almost broken. “But not telling me, not letting me help you, hurting yourself more to save me pain. That is _far worse_.”He took a long shuttering breath pulling me closer and kissing my forehead.“I am _begging_ you, please talk to me.I can’t lose you.” 

“All I ever do is hurt the people I love.” I whispered ignoring how my voice shook. 

“How could you think that?” He asked pulling away so he could look at me, but I hid in his shoulder.“There have been more than forty two _thousand_ days of my existence and the best of them have been spent with you.You have brought me joy, excitement, wonder, love.Beautiful things _you_ have blessed me with.And yes, sometimes you do things that hurt me, but no one is perfect.I am sure I will do things that will hurt you if I haven't already.” 

When I didn’t respond he continued.“If our roles were reversed, if I hurt myself, would you not want to help put me back together?Would you think seeing me hurt would be too painful for you to want to be there? Would you want me to go to save you that pain, knowing it would take everything beautiful with it?” 

“Of course not.” I sighed turning to look at him gasping audibly at his pitch black eyes.“Edward!” I reached out, brushing my thumb under his eyes carefully.“The blood-“ 

“No, no Love, just emotion.I’m perfectly in control.” He smiled faintly, leaning forward and kissing my forehead. 

“Are you angry?” My voice barely more than a whisper. 

“Never Love, just afraid.Now will you let me stitch this up?” He asked, his hand still wrapped around my forearm, blood soaked gauze trapped between our skin.

I just nodded turning my face back into his shoulder so I didn’t have to watch. 

Even though the whole area was numb I could tell he was working much faster than human speed, pulling the threads through my skin as fast as he could without doing any more damage. 

“How many?” I asked when he pressed a large bandaid over it. 

“17.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to the bandaid before looking up at me.His eyes were much lighter, but I could see in them his fight against his emotions. 

“Hm, lucky prime.” I joked only succeeding in a small smile. 

“Charlie is coming up.” He whispered quickly standing to set me down on my feet. 

“Don’t go.” I choked out grabbing onto his hand. 

“Would it be childish to hide in your closet?” He asked smiling down at me. 

“No.” I whispered, just as he disappeared from my arms. 

Charlie knocked just as I pulled my sweatshirt on to cover the bandaid. 

“Yeah?” I asked crossing the room quickly to open the door. 

“Pizza’s here, I remembered the mushroom and spinach.” He smiled as I faked a grin following him downstairs. 

“I think I’m just gonna take some upstairs, I’m on a roll with my english paper.” Honestly I hadn’t even started it. 

“Oh, what’s it about?” He asked handing me a plate and a napkin. 

“Um, the role of Yorick in Hamlet.” I opted not to tell him that Yorick’s role, as a skull, was to illustrate the finality of death. 

“Sounds interesting.” I got the impression he had forgotten who Yorick was and just didn’t want to admit it.Disregarding that I pulled two slices out of the box and thanked him before carrying them back up the stairs.Opening my door back up I spotted Edward immediately, lying down on my bed with his eyes closed he looked so peaceful he could have been sleeping.Closing the door softly behind me I just smiled fondly at him from the doorway for a minute. 

“What are you thinking?” He asked, voice just barely more than a whisper. 

“That you looked like you could have been asleep.” I dropped the plate onto my desk going over to sit by his shoulder.“So peaceful.” I murmured brushing my fingers from his temple to his chin and into his hair leaning over to kiss him gently. 

“I love you.” He whispered against my lips like a prayer, like if he said it enough I’d stop. 

“I love you too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit short I know, but a rather emotional one. I'll make the next one longer


	7. Bella

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit short, can't seem to get the next part right, it's killing me

“Did you ever talk to Jasper?” I asked sitting down next to him in Biology a week later, we were early so the classroom was still empty. 

“Yes.” His tone was darker than I expected, and he wasn't really looking at me. 

“What did he say?” I could pretty much guess, but I wanted to hear it anyway. 

“That it felt like you were dying.”It looked like it physically pained him to say it out loud.I suddenly felt bad for ever telling him to talk to Jasper.“He said I should be… eternally grateful I can’t hear your thoughts, that he couldn't imagine how much pain you are in, even though he could feel it.That you were worse than he had ever been.”He still wasn't looking at me, even as I reached out to take his hand in mine.“And he said to tell you he was impressed, that you were still… alive.And that Alice says thank you, for holding on. For my sake.” 

“Did he tell you how I feel when you are here?” I asked gently, leaning over the table so I could look at him. 

“Yes.” He didn’t elaborate, so I did. 

“How it feels like the curtains have opened and I can see the sun again, how I feel like I can breathe again, that it had been so long I’d almost forgotten what it felt like to not have that invisible hand around my throat.That I don’t feel like carving myself to pieces anymore, that I don’t want to open up my chest to look for the source of that tight pain anymore.”He looked up at me and for a second I thought he was going to cry but instead he stood pulling me out of my seat and crushing me to his chest.I laughed briefly despite the complete lack of a humorous moment, wrapping my arms around his shoulders letting him bury his face in my hair.I heard the bell ring sharp and a bit dissonant to my continual annoyance.“I love you Edward but class is about to start.” 

“I love you,” He whispered loosening his arms.“You were right, of course, like always.”I just smiled sadly up at him stretching up to kiss him briefly. 

“Are we staying for class?” I asked, my face only a centimeter from his but I could see the indecision in his eyes.  
“I’m a bad influence.” He said making me laugh, but I pulled away scooping my bag up off the floor before grabbing his hand and leading him back out of the classroom nearly running right into Mr. Banner. 

“Where are you two going? Class starts in 5 minutes.”He said as I pulled Edward down the hall laughing and completely ignoring him. 

“You know what?” I said over my shoulder.“You _are_ a bad influence.”I couldn’t help but laugh as I practically fell out the front door and out into the rain.I pulled my hood over my head as he pulled me to his car opening the passenger door for me to slide in.He leaned in for a second kissing me softly. 

“I’ll be right back, 2 minutes.” He whispered ducking back out of the car and disappearing around building 5.I picked up his iPod shuffling through a truly obscenely large music collection until I found Clair de Lune.Relaxing against the seat to the familiar song of the song it was barely 30 seconds before Edward was back sliding into the driver’s seat. 

“What was that about?” I asked as he pulled out of the parking lot. 

“Asking Alice where it would stop raining first.” He said ripping down the main road south.“Turns out it’s very close.” It was at most 3 minutes in the car before he pulled over on the shoulder. 

The grin on his face when he pulled me out of the car made my stomach do flips. 

“Come on, trust me you’ll love this.”He said pulling me onto his back before half running half climbing up the side of a giant sequoia.God we must have been nearly 300 feet in the air at least.He laughed as I looked back at him, I’m sure I was making a funny face but I was completely distracted by the view.  
“This isn’t real.” I said quietly as if I spoke louder I might wake up.“This doesn't happen it real life.” 

“It does in my world.”He said twisting around the tree so that he was in front of me.“I know you think I saved you, but don’t be ignorant of how much you have changed my life Darling.I have spent the last 100 years walking in the dark among my kind and your’s not even knowing I was looking for you.I thought, idiotically, that I was complete.And then I met you and have suddenly discovered that I wasn’t.I can feel my heart, well, it’s your’s really, in my chest for the first time.I’m seeing the world in color for the first time, with you next to me everything is so beautiful, you _are_ my sun.And the only thing worth truly living for, because I haven't been alive in a long time.”I was definitely crying I realized suddenly, not that I really cared at the moment, grabbing onto Edward’s collar and dragging him down into a kiss.He smiled into it, my lips moulding to his as he pulled me into his arms holding my tight.Eventually he pulled away, brushing the tears off my cheeks as he pulled away. 

“Alice wants you to come play baseball with us tonight.Well, you won’t be playing, but you get the idea.” He rolled his eyes at something, his eyes unfocusing for a second. “She’s shouting.” He said making a gesture towards his head. 

“Can you hear her?” I asked laughing in surprise. 

“Her mind yes, she’s still within range… and she knows it.” He sighed letting his head drop to my shoulder.“Thank you.” 

“Are you thanking Alice or me?” I asked a bit confused. 

“You, for deciding to come, she’ll shut up now.” 

“Good.” I laughed dragging him up to kiss hims again, but only for a second as I realized the implications of what I just agreed to.“Wait am I about to meet your family?” I asked looking up at his laughing face. 

“Yes, does that scare you?” He asked pulling me close and bumping his nose into mine jokingly. 

“I told you how I felt about that remember.” 

“Right, scared they won’t like you.Would it help if I told you what they think of you?I know the unedited version.”His lips were only centimeters from mine, his dancing gold eyes just far enough away to focus on. 

“Sure” I said ignoring the way I sounded so breathless. 

“My mother loves you, because I love you.You make me happy and that’s all she cares about.Father has an essentially similar opinion, he’s eager to meet you, he wonders what it is about you that has me so… enthralled.But he already likes you simply because of your affect on me.” 

“My affect on you?” I asked, how noticeable was it?

“I’m, a lot happier, Jasper says I’m more stable.Which I think might be a bit of an insult but he refutes that.” He sighed, his forehead touching mine briefly. “That’s not my point.Alice loves you because she is lucky enough to be able to see how good of friends you two will be in the future.She’s… excited.Jasper, is terrified of you.He’s afraid he doesn't have the control to be around you without the background scents of the student body and the watchful eyes of hundreds of humans.But mostly he’s afraid of the damage he would do to our family if he hurt you.He won’t… hurt you.I won’t let him.But he might be a little standoffish.Emmett, doesn't care that much.He’s glad I’m out of the house more because he gets annoyed when I play music all night, but other than that he’s just a teddy bear and is about as harmless as one.To you anyway.Rosalie, I’m still trying to convince.She doesn't understand.She thinks you’re throwing your life away.That you are giving up all the wonders of humanity.And by that she really means babies.” I couldn't help the snorted laugh. 

“Not everyone who is physically capable of giving birth wants to have children doesn't she know that?” I leaned back so I could look at him properly. 

“Honestly no she doesn’t.Rosalie is, well, she can’t imagine that other people are fundamentally different than her.”He paused, as if his brain was catching up to the conversation we still having.“You don’t want kids?” 

“Edward, I don’t… I don’t think I could do it.I’m so, screwed up.Who knows what I could pass on.” My hands slipped from his shoulders, brushing across the leather of his jacket before dropping onto my lap. 

“You know I never even thought about it.1918, 17 year old boy caught up in the romanization of a war that only ever destroyed.It didn’t even occur to me.”He seemed, disappointed.Probably in himself knowing him. 

“Well I for one am glad you didn't die in World War 1.” I said smiling softly and pulling on the unzipped sides of his jacket. 

“No I died of Spanish Influenza.” He countered letting me pull him in. 

“Very funny, you aren’t dead until your brain stops functioning.Last I checked yours was fine.” He relented pulling me up off my branch and into his arms. 

“I love you.” He grinned knowing what I would say next. 

“I love you more.” 

“Liar,” I laughed as he said the line that was usually mine. 

“Never.” Sometimes it seems like this part is more important than the ‘I love you’ part. 

~

He got me back before next period started, English with Jessica.No way she didn’t know we skipped. 

I slid into the seat next to her, not even having to look over at her before she started speaking. 

“Again Bella? What did you do this time?” She was barely whispered so I shushed her in annoyance. 

“Jessica can’t this wait?” I asked holding up the Faulkner we were reading. 

“No it can’t Bella, you skipped class again, with Edward.” She gave me a look that made me think that she thought we were fooling around in the back of a car. 

“God Jessica, we were just talking.” I tried to stop myself from hitting her over the head with my book. 

“Talking about what?” 

“It’s personal.” I snapped, but I was still smiling so it definitely lost its edge. 

“Oh. My. God. He told you he loved you didn’t he.” She looked like she was about to hyperventilate from excitement. 

I didn’t answer just turned back to the board as the teacher started the class ignoring her squeak. 

~

When I got home I rushed through my homework and started dinner so it would be done when Charlie came home.Italian was always the most likely to make him happy so I started on some spaghetti and pulled some fish out of the freezer to go with it.Setting my laptop on the table I turned up music while I worked, high enough that I didn’t even hear Charlie come in until he tapped me on the shoulder. 

“Oh My God.” I spun around nearly hitting him with my spoon.“Way to give me a heart attack Dad.” 

“Sorry Bells, whatcha got there?” He looked over my shoulder at the boiling pasta. 

“Pasta and fish, I’m bribing you.” I laughed as he rubbed his hands together over the boiling water to warm them up. 

“Bribing me to do what?” He asked hesitantly going over to get a drink. 

“Edward invited me to play baseball with his family…” I glanced over at his surprised expression.“I know I know, I don’t really think I’ll play, but he assured me it would be funny. Apparently they take some liberties with the rules.” 

“So you want me to say yes?” He asked, remembering all the times when I was little I’d ask my parents to say no to sleep overs and outings with friends. 

“Yes I want you to say yes, I’m not 5 anymore.” 

“Don’t remind me.When’ll he pick you up?” He leaned against the table as I poured the pasta out into the colander in the sink. 

“In like half an hour, but dinner is ready so we’re on schedule.” I grinned scooping pasta and sauce onto plates, fish already on the table. 

I scarfed it down running upstairs to brush my teeth and just managing to pull my converse on when he rang the doorbell. 

“Hey you.” I grinned swinging the door open. 

“Hey indeed.” He grinned back, “Ready to go?” 

“Yup, just need to grab my coat.” I said pulling it off the hook easily. 

“And a hat and gloves, it’s cold.” I stuck my tongue out at him in retaliation for that little jab, but grabbed a hat and gloves anyway. 

“Hello.”Charlie said from behind me, leaning in the kitchen doorway, shot gun in hand. 

“Seriously Dad?” I rolled my eyes.“This is Edward, Edward this is my dad Charlie. He won’t actually shoot you I promise or I’ll shoot him back.” I said glaring at him while I pulled my hat on. 

“Back by 10 Bells.” 

“I’ll have her back sir, don’t worry.” I groaned at the both of them shoving Edward none to lightly out the door. 

“Really do you need to play to him?” I asked climbing in the passenger seat.“I know you both have a protective streak a mile wide but I really don’t need to have my dad and my boyfriend conspiring to keep me under lock and key 24 hours a day.” 

“Say it sister.” Alice said from the back seat making me jump. 

“What is with today and people surprising me.” I muttered to myself turning to look at her and Jasper.“It’s kind of rude.” I said to her before turning to Jasper.“Hey, you okay?” My emotional climate was all over the place today and after what Edward had said this morning I was a bit worried about being around Jasper, for his sake. 

“Don’t worry about me.” He grinned as Alice wrapped her arms around him. 

“Eh he’s fine.” Edward said pulling out of the drive way and turning down the street much slower than usual.“You’re dad is watching from the window.” He laughed tilting his head towards the house. 

“Protective streak a mile wide.” I reiterated giving him a ‘yeah duh’ expression.“Where are we going anyway?” 

“Back to the house, and then up to a clearing in the forest.We need some distance from town to play.” I closed my eyes suddenly feeling like this was a bad idea. 

“And why is that?”

“It get’s a bit loud, and we need a lot of space.” I groaned nearly silently, but of course he heard me.“Don’t worry, open the glovebox.” I hooked my fingers in the latch pulling it open and catching the pair of headphones that tumbled out.“Noise cancelling, yours wouldn’t be insulating enough it’s like thunder.”I didn’t bother asking what was like thunder, instead just fitting them over my ears.“Well?” I could barely hear him, if he wasn’t sitting right next to me I wouldn’t have been able to. 

“They’re good.” I said nodding and smiling.“I’ve raised my voice haven’t I?” He laughed nodding reaching out and pulling my hat down over my eyes.“Rude.” I muttered pulling the headphones off to readjust my hat.“So, you said you changed the rules?”

“Not much,” Alice chimed in. “The bases are a lot farther apart, and tackling is allowed.But besides that it’s mostly the same.Oh and the teams have rules, Edward and I have to be on opposite teams otherwise we win every time.” She reached forward to high five Edward. “And it’s more fun if Emmett is with me, he’s the strongest so the only one who can catch up to his hits is Edward, being the fastest.And then Jasper goes with Edward to even out the play field a bit, to try to shake my confidence with his emotional witchcraft.Something that has yet to work by the way.And then usually Carlisle goes with me and Emmett and Rosalie goes with Edward and Jasper but their switching today.” 

“Esme doesn’t play?” I asked, taking a second to catch up to Alice’s insane talking speed. 

“Someone has to keep us fair, we tend to argue.” Edward laughed pulling into their driveway. 

“Tend to?” Jasper quipped. “We’ve never played a game that didn’t dissolve into a wrestling match.It’s how we settle arguments.” He added for my benefit. 

“Not a very fair way at that.” Alice continued. “Jasper is the only one who has ever beaten Edward or I, to Emmett’s chagrin.”

“I wouldn’t use that word when Emmett can hear you Alice.” Edward rolled his eyes pulling up to the house. 

“Too late.” She grinned hoping out. 


	8. Bella

We didn’t even go in the house, I stepped out of the car and Edward was right there swinging me over his shoulder like a potato sack. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” I asked in disbelief. 

“Absolutely nothing.” He said shifting me easily to his back and taking off running without warning me. 

“Oh my god asshole.” I laughed wrapping my arms around his neck as tight as I could.He just laughed back. 

I loved the rush of the wind, and the bright layered green of the forest glowing around us, the feel of his muscles of his back moving under my chest.Closing my eyes I nestled my chin on his shoulder pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

It was barely a minute to the field, he set me down at the edge of the clearing. 

“I love you.” He said taking my hand and pulling me gently towards the rest of his family.“Deep breaths.” 

“Shut up.” I scowled but took a few anyway.“Love you more.” 

“You little liar.” He reached out tickling my side before I jumped away. 

“Never.” 

Alice caught up to us grabbing both out hands and dragging us the last few dozen feet. 

“Bella this is Esme and Carlisle and Emmett and Rosalie, but you already kind of know the last two.” She said pushing me forward as I tried not to take a reflexive step back. 

“Bella it’s so nice to meet you, we’ve heard so much about you.” Esme smiled reaching out as if to hug me but settled for just taking my hands. “Don’t worry all good things.” 

“It’s nice to meet you too.” I smiled at the both of them but was thankfully interrupted before I could say anything stupid. 

“Come on guys it’s time.” Alice said bouncing across the field just as Edward turned to me pulling the headphones up over my hat and securing them over my ears so fast I didn’t even know it was happening until his hands held the headphones close as thunder hit with a sharp crack. 

“Is that insulating enough?” He asked leaning towards me slightly. 

“Yeah it’s good.” I smiled waving him away.“Go play.” His laugh was too quiet for me to hear but the humor rolling over his expression was breathtaking.He kissed my forehead before taking off across the field slinging his arm around Alice jokingly as the rest of them took their places.I watched as Edward shoved Jasper away from Alice and towards the place grinning like a kid as he did.Esme tapped me on the shoulder grabbing my attention. 

“We should get out of their way.” She smiled leading me over to a boulder at the edge of the clearing.I perched myself on top of it as she settle leaning by my side.“He’s treating you like a lady?” She asked looking over at me. 

“Better than I deserve.” I assured her as Jasper stepped up to bad.He took a couple practice swings while Alice stood stock still on the pitchers mound.Then, without warning her arm shoots out, the ball moving much to fast for me to see.But the boom of the bat hitting the ball was plenty loud for me to hear, and he only bunted it.I was suddenly very glad for the headphones as the ball bounced off the ground throwing up dirt before Carlisle caught it.It couldn't have been more than a few seconds but Jasper was already on second base as Carlisle threw the ball back to Alice. 

“That boy loves you more than he knows what to do with.” She said grinning at me as I watched Emmett step up to bat. 

“The feeling is mutual I assure you.” I laughed lightly leaning towards her.“It doesn’t bother you, that I’m all…” I didn’t bother finishing the sentence. 

“Did Edward ever tell you how I became a vampire?” She asked right before Emmett took his swing, the ball cracking against the bat and flying up looking like it would go miles, Edward shot after it. 

“He said it wasn’t his business to tell someone else’s story.” I murmured, he had only told me the bits about himself and a little about Carlisle. 

“Always the gentleman.I jumped off a cliff.” My eyes shot to hers, she looked so calm, almost nonchalant.“My husband was very abusive, and I was pregnant.The point of the narrative being I lost a baby, a little boy.And I didn’t want to live anymore so I threw myself off the cliff. Carlisle found me barely alive at the bottom and changed me.”She smiled pointing over at Edward as he came back through the trees ball held high in his hand. “First Out.Anyway what I was saying was that he loves you, and you bring him so much happiness and life.So no, it has never bothered me, or Carlisle, not for an instant.” I didn’t really know how to respond so I just turned back to the game.A rounds had gone while we were talking but Rosalie was up at bat again.She went with Jasper’s strategy of bunting to avoid Edward’s speedy out fielding, but this time when Carlisle caught it he raced her to first base, smashing into her like boulders crashing, the sound so loud it echoed off the mountains.I flinched, closing my eyes and pushing the headphones down harder.When I opened my eyes again Edward was hovering in front of me, his hand reaching out to graze over my shoulder. 

“Are you alright?” He asked quietly.I couldn’t help the blush at my reaction to the noise, the game temporarily stopped while Edward checked up on me. 

“Don’t be silly, I’m fine.Just wasn’t expecting it.” I smiled reassuringly pretending my heart wasn't racing, and rather hoping he would pretend it wasn't too. 

“Do you want to go home?” He asked hesitantly. 

“No, I’m fine, stop mollycoddling and go play.” I laughed shoving him back towards the field, this time he went smiling at me. 

The game played through a couple innings smoothly, Edward spent most of it grinning like an idiot and shoving around with his brothers. 

“It’s nice to see him relaxed, sometimes I think he takes everything too seriously.”I said as he launched himself off a tree 50 feet in the air to catch a fly ball Jasper hit. 

“You bring out the best in him. I have never seen him smile this much.” She responded.I smiled affectionately at him watching as Emmett bumped shoulders with him sending him stumbling and laughing. 

Within a second the crooked grin gracing his features replaced with anger and fear as he turned to Alice before shooting across the field to me. 

“I’m so sorry.” Edward whispered, cupping the back of my head and pulling my headphones off.“I’m so sorry I’ve put you in harms way, it was irresponsible to expose you like this.” 

“What’s going on?” I asked not so subtly freaking out, my shaking hands reaching up to his. 

“Nomads traveling through, they’re coming.They were heading north but heard us playing and they want to join.We have less than 5 minutes, and one of them is a tracker.”Edward said to me but really his words were meant for everyone.He quickly pulled my hat down farther, wrapping the headphones around my neck and pulling my hood up tight.“Stay behind me and be as still as possible, the rest of you, keep playing, Esme take my spot.”Edward settled me back down on the boulder, leaning back against it in front of my in a mock casual position.I laid my hand down on his shoulder, his hand flying to cover mine squeezing lightly.“I won’t let him hurt you.” He growled, his eyes fixed on some spot on the tree line as the game resumed. 

“I know.” I whispered, taking his hand in both of mine, rubbing my thumb over his knuckles.“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” I could practically feel the fury rolling off of him, how dare anyone threaten his family. The only thing in the world he cared about, the people he loved… part of me was honestly more afraid of what he would do to the nomads than what they could do to me.He would tear them to shreds, and I would let him. 

It wasn’t long, Alice kept a count down, flashing her fingers to us.But as it got closer I could feel the growl rumbling in Edward’s chest where my hand was pressed to his back. 

“Relax, it’ll be fine.” I whispered, more to reassure myself.In an instant Edward had pulled me up off the boulder and wrapped his arm around my shoulder’s holding me close. 

“Edward…” Alice warned, clearly seeing something. 

“It doesn’t matter,” He snapped.“Whatever we do this will end in a hunt. It will be better to try to scare the other two off before we have to kill all three.” 

“Will we have a choice?” Carlisle asked, a sad look on his face as he came over, the rest of them back over to us facing the forest. 

“No.” Edward shot back as I shrank into him slightly.“I’m sorry.” He leaned down and kissed my forehead softly, such a different touch than the way his arm was locked around me like iron.Protective and loving, Edward to a tee. 

I watched as they came out from the trees, moving like animals across the field.They looked like they hadn’t seen society for 20 years, their clothing torn and dirty, hair matted and full of leaves.The one at the front was a dark skinned man, dreadlocks extending halfway down his back.The woman to his right was a red head, her curly mop sticking out in every direction.The third a blond man, the tallest nearly as tall as Edward most likely.I could just make out their bright red eyes. 

“Hello, we heard you playing and were wondering if you could use a few more players?” The dark skin man said, his accent slightly french.“I’m Laurent, this is Victoria, and James.” 

“I’m Carlisle,” He said stepping forward, “And this is my family, Esme and Alice, Rosalie Edward and Bella, and Emmett and Jasper.” Emmett and Jasper stepped up behind him threateningly. 

“You brought a snack?” The blond one, James, asked leaning forward on the balls of his feet.“Surely you wouldn’t mind sharing?” 

“We do I’m afraid.” Carlisle said, his tone which had been friendly was now cold and harsh. 

“Such a shame.” He said, he looked like he was practically twitching.As he took a step forward Edward pushed me behind him a snarl ripping from his throat. “She smells so good…” 

“You have half an hour to clear our territory, if you come within 200 miles of any of my children again I will not stop them from tearing you apart.” Esme stepped forward laying a hand of Carlisle’s shoulder as she spoke. 

“My apologies, we’ll be going…” Laurent said taking James’ forearm in his hand pulling him back into the woods, never turning their back on us.As soon as they were clear Edward grabbed me throwing me onto his back carefully and taking off, I assume towards the house.I hid my face in his shoulder trying not to freak out about what just happened. 

“Edward.” I whispered, the breath catching in my throat, always the first sign of a panic attack. 

“30 seconds and we’ll be home.” I could barely hear him over the wind but I could tell he slowed down because Alice and Jasper came up on our right.It felt like a lot longer than 30 seconds until he set me down on the white leather couch in his living room, kneeling in front of me.“How are your levels?” He asked quietly ignoring how his family stood around us protectively, all monitoring the woods around us. 

I just shook my head, not even realizing I wasn’t breathing until he said something. 

“Breath Bella.” He grabbed my hands pressing them to his chest to get me to copy him.Alice sat down next to me rubbing a hand up and down my back as I calmed down over the course of the next few minutes. 

“Okay I’m good, what happens now?” I didn’t miss the glance Alice and Edward shared at my shaky voice.

“He’s not going to give up.” Edward said slowly.“We need to get you out of here so the rest of us can surround him.” I also didn’t miss the way Alice shook her head.“She needs to be somewhere safe Alice.” 

“He’s too good, he’ll track her down.” 

“Denali then, make it 11 against 1.” He suggested, both their eyes unfocused as Alice looked. 

“I can’t tell, Urgh everything just went black!” She complained flopping back onto the sofa. 

“Sorry.” I turned to her, “My fault.” 

“Why would it be your fault?You can hardly help creepy vampires wanting your blood.” I chose to ignore how ridiculous that sentence sounded. 

“No I mean about your vision going black, I had a bad idea.”I looked over at Edward biting my lip.“Jacob.” 

“No.” 

“They’re good hunters, admit it they would be helpful.Besides, Jake said that Seth was the best tracker the tribe has ever seen.” 

“They’re kids with no experience.” He groaned but I could tell he knew I was right. 

“They can help, at least they can help you find him.” I protested. “The more of you there are the safer each of you will be.” 

“Call him.” He relented letting go of my hands.Reflexively my hand shot out grabbing his again, sucking in a deep breath. He looked up at me, expression suddenly refilled with concern.Not the angry black protective concern when he had slung me across his back in the clearing, but a soft loving golden concern.“Hey,” He said softly squeezing my hand.“You’re safe.” I shook my head.“That’s not what you’re worried about…” It barely took him a second as he glanced down at our hands.“I’m safe too, I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Okay.” I whispered loosening my grip on his hand as he came up to sit next to me. curling up into him I pulled my phone out of my pocket dialing a familiar number. He had never called me after last week, he didn’t want to hear from me. But he would at least want to kill some vampires.

He picked up on the second ring.“Hey Bells, I’ve been meaning to call you.” His voice sounded rough, like it was dropping again. 

“Look Jake, I wouldn’t bother you but we have a problem here you’re gonna want to know about.” That grabbed his attention immediately. 

“What’s wrong? Did they do something to you?” He sounded just as ready to rip someone’s head off as Edward had in the clearing. 

“Not the Cullen’s but Jake, there were some nomads coming through and they heard us playing baseball. And god Jake one of them is a tracker and he is very determined to kill me.” I could hear the string of curses on the other end of the line. “I think Edward wants to talk to you.” I said pulling the phone away from my ear and putting it on speaker. 

“Jacob.” He said a bit stiffly. 

“Yeah leech, since when do you ask for our help?” His voice snapping with hate and anger. 

“It was my idea Jake.” I said quietly knowing he’d hear. 

“I’m sure you can find your way to our house without issue. This is time sensitive.” Edward on the other hand remained calm and reserved. 

“What exactly do you want us to do?” 

“Find him. He is going to be particularly... slippery.” Edward said carefully. “And kill him.” 

“5 minutes.” The phone shut off with a dull click. 

“Really Edward, the dogs at our house?” Rosalie sneered from her spot by the window. 

“Oh please, you don’t want to break a nail do you?” Alice laughed bouncing up and over to her. “It is safer this way, even if they stink.” 

“What about Charlie?” I asked quietly, Edward’s arm coming to curl around me. 

“Alice?” He asked reading something from her.“Would you, Rosalie and Emmett go check on him, stay until we figure out what we’re doing?” 

“Don’t volunteer me.” Rosalie snapped taking a step towards Edward and I. 

“I thought you didn’t want to be here with the dogs?” He responded icily.“And do you mind stopping.” I looked up at him, his jaw clenched and his fist balled against his knee. 

“I’m not stopping, it’s my mind and it’s your problem that you're listening in.” It wasn’t like he had a choice god I wanted to slap her. 

“Bella that’s a bad idea.” Alice laughed but she came over and grabbed Rosalie by the arm dragging her out the front door anyway. 

“Really?” Edward asked an amused smile relaxing his expression. 

“I realize it wouldn't do anything to her, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to.”

Even I could hear the howl from the woods. 


	9. Edward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for probably a bunch of updates, I decided I wanted more than option for perspective so this chapter is from Edward's POV so I edited the chapter titles to say who's POV it was. And sorry for the weird texting thing I could not for the life of my figure out how to embed an image. Why must life be sooooo haaaaarrrrdddd?????

As they filtered into range I leaned more about the wolves minds than I had ever had access to before, and they were fascinating.Everything was so connected, the thought as if they were one person with differing opinions and thoughts being injected and rejected every second.Their minds operated so differently when they were wolves than when we had met them as humans three quarters of a century ago. 

“Bella, they’re here.” I said softly standing from the couch and holding out a hand to her. 

“I know.” She murmured taking my hand and letting me pull her up, wrap my arm around her shoulders and lead her out onto the back porch. 

No one was quite happy about the situation, but Carlisle and Esme at least understood and were welcoming of the idea of the wolves. 

**It isn’t smart to invite such unstable creatures into this.** Jasper thought to me as he stepped down onto the lawn. **We could take James on our own.**

“It will be much easier to find him with them.None of us are particularly capable trackers.” I responded, my voice too quite for Bella to hear me.“And I have no intention of waiting him out.” 

**You called?** Jacob spat out as he emerged from the trees on the other side of the river. 

**Leech piece of shit! Why are we even here? To protect Bella! For the humans. Because we finally can kill one of them!**

It was surprisingly difficult to keep track of who was thinking what. 

**Edward would you like to speak? I assume you have a plan.** Carlisle asked from behind me. 

“If I asked you something will you give me an honest answer?” I asked leaned down to meet Bella’s eye. 

“Course.” She nodded fiddling with the ends of her hair. 

“Will you be alright with Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme if I take the wolves over to the clearing for a few minutes?” Her eyes dropped to the ground before flicking up to the wolves. 

“I’ll be fine.” She smiled up at me, but I could still hear the skip in her heartbeat.“Jasper does have his uses.” 

**Hey?** Jasper looked back in surprise as we both chuckled. 

“I’ll be right back.” I whispered kissing her forehead and giving Jasper a look before taking the lawn in a few steps and launching myself over the river to land next to Jacob.“I see you took your rightful place.” I muttered as we walked back into the forest. 

**It’s none of your fucking business leech.** He shot back. 

“Very true.” 

**What**

“It isn’t my business and I very much do not care right now.This… I hesitate to call him a man.This vampire is determined to kill Bella, for no other reason than his own amusement.With a large coven protecting her he sees it as a challenge, and it has never occurred to him or his mate that he will fail.”I spoke as we ran to the field, it would be swamped in out scents but James’ should be fresh enough that it will be easy to pick out. 

**You can’t bare to take out one of your own?** Jacob’s thoughts were echoed by the pack.I slammed to a halt a few hundred feet away from the baseball field. 

“He has threatened my family Jacob.The people I love, I would stop at nothing to tear him apart to see him burned.” 

**And yet you had Bella call us, you’re just a coward.**

“Think what you want of me, I won’t change your mind even if I cared enough to try.” I shrugged taking the last few steps to the clearing and pointing out for them where the three walked across it.“The male in the middle we aren't concerned about, he fled and he is not coming back.The female won’t participate in the hunt she will wait from afar but if this gets messy she might join in.The other male is the real threat.He will be hard to track, it’s his specialty and he knows how to make it more difficult.Good luck, you have Bella’s phone number.” A smaller grey wolf stepped up, Seth, and paced around for a minute before taking off the way they left. 

**Stay out of our way.** Jacob growled following his pack into the trees. 

“You don’t have much time.Bring us his head by tomorrow night or we will have to get involved.” That caused a bit of outrage but I turned back to the house anyway, racing through the forest as fast as I could.As I got closer I could hear Bella’s heart racing int he house, Jasper’s concerned thoughts as he sat beside her.I leapt, overshooting the river considerably and landing on the back porch.Opening the door as quickly as I could without tearing it off the frame I scooped her up in my arms in seconds, feeling every muscle as she tensed before relaxing into me. 

“Talk to me.” I whispered as her breathing slowed down. 

“It’s stupid.” 

“You say that every time and yet, it has never been true.” I murmured sitting down on the couch and settling her on my lap, her arms wrapping tight around my neck and shoulders seemingly as tight as she could. 

**She’s scared of loosing you, and Jacob.Of putting your families in danger. I tried to calm her down but she didn’t want me to.** Jasper informed me from upstairs, Esme and Carlisle echoing him. 

**She doesn’t think she’s worth putting you in danger.** Esme added. 

“Bella,” I dropped my head onto her shoulder, tightening my arms around her as much as I could without hurting her.“You are my world, I would do anything to protect you.Besides, between us and the wolves no one is in danger.There are six of them and seven of us, as long as we stick together he won’t have an opportunity to do anything.” I tried to reassure her softly. 

“I know this really is a bad time but can I complain for a second?” She whispered, her voice muffled by my shirt. 

“Always.” 

“Why me? Why do I have to have these stupid problems? Why can’t I watch you walk out of the room without my lungs freezing up? Why can’t I just be a normal capable person? Why can’t I take care of myself? Why do I have to do this to myself.” My sharp intake of breath almost sent Esme running down the stairs. 

**Nothing happened! She was just curled up on the sofa, and she had some trouble breathing, but nothing happened.**

“I wish I had answers for you Love.” I murmured cupping the back of her head and running my other hand up and down her back.“But there is no shame in needing help. I completely failed at living on my own.I suppose I didn’t explain very well when we talked about it.” On purpose, I was too afraid of what she would think of me.“You remember I left Carlisle and Esme for a few years, in the 1930’s?” 

“Yeah, I remember.” 

“I went to New York.” She pulled back in surprise so she could meet my eye. 

“But you hate people.” She said making me laugh. 

“I don’t hate people, just lots of people all at once.” I grinned tapping her on the nose.“There’s a big difference.” 

“Whatever, New York is a brick to the head for you either way.” She was practically scolding me at this point. 

“And that was not an accident.I was torturing myself, because what I was doing was eating me alive, but I couldn’t stop.” I sighed heavily glancing up to the ceiling before meeting her eye again.“The solution for me at the time was to go home, to Carlisle and Esme.But I was never the same, I was never truly happy. Until you.”I tucked a stray section of hair behind her ear, my fingers wrapping easily around her little jaw, thumb brushing against her blushed pink cheek.“I’m not saying I’m the solution to your problems.But please know that I would do anything to see you smile.All you have to do is tell me what you need.” I would do anything for her, the battle was getting her to believe me. 

“Can you stay with me tonight?”She whispered glancing down. 

“If you think I’m letting you out of my sight for a second longer than absolutely necessary until we kill James than you have another thing coming.” I assured her trying to lighten the mood slightly. 

“Good, because I have to be home in 20 minutes.” She said pulling out her phone and showing my the text from her father. 

                                                                                                  Charlie

                                                       ________________________________________________________________                                            

                                                       Bells you better be home on time.                                                 

                                                                                                                                  I said I would be.                                                                 

                                                       ________________________________________________________________                                                                                                     

Great, an suspicious father.This was not the time. 

“I don’t suppose you can run away.” I sighed not expecting her to flinch at my words, wiping the wry smile off my face in half a second.“What happened?” 

“Another time.” She said biting the inside of her cheek.“But I _need_ to be home in 20 minutes.” 

“We can go right now, Jasper come with us you can switch out with Rose and Emmett.” 

**All three of our best fighters in one spot? Is that smart?** Jasper asked coming down the stairs slowly, attempting to temper my reaction. 

“Surely Emmett counts for something?” I growled back as Bella got up. 

“What?” She sighed looking over at Jasper standing firmly at the bottom of the stairs. 

“He disagrees with me, if we both go with you then all three of our most capable fighters would be at your house.However, there would be four here.Even James isn’t stupid enough to try anything.” I snapped motioning them both to the door.“And it’s not like any of you make decent leverage, you fight back right?” I glanced up to see Esme coming down the stairs, watching Bella, thinking of her like another daughter.“Oh fuck.” 

“I don’t think I have ever heard you curse before…” Bella said softly taking a step towards me. 

“I don’t curse.” 

“You just did.” She said crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Because of your mother. She would make excellent leverage but she is in a very inconvenient place for us to protect her.” I explained, hoping this wasn’t going to increase her anxiety as much as I thought it might. 

“Oh fuck.” She whispered back. 

“Let’s get you home, Carlisle and Esme will consult the others and figure out what to do.” I sighed. “We could always send a wolf or two down but they aren’t very useful in the city, unless we want animal control called on them.” 

“Well how about you call her,” Esme suggested smiling at Bella reassuringly.“make sure everything is fine.” 

“Yes but please do it in the car so we aren’t late.” I added nudging her to the door. 

“Right yeah,” She whispered stepping out when I opened the door for her.“How fast could he get to Florida?” 

“It’s complicated, I doubt he has the resources to fly, and he would have to avoid even small populations especially as he got farther south.So… three days maybe four.” I assured her. “Should Alice see him headed there then we will have plenty of time to cut him off.” 

“Okay.” She murmured sliding into the passenger seat, seeming far more shut down than I had ever seen her.I leapt over the car easily flitting into the drivers seat and pulling away quickly, even for me.She fumbled her phone out of her back pocket to dial her mother I assumed.I turned my attention to the road to at least giver her the illusion of privacy is her discussion.  
“Hey Mom.” She spoke softly, turning away from me to lean against the seat and face the window. 

“Darling! It’s been too long you need to call me more often.” She said, her voice higher and more tenacious than Bella’s ever was.

“Sorry Mom, it’s been kinda crazy here.” 

“Crazy in Forks? That’s impossible.” She laughed care free while I imagined Bella laughing with her.Was it wrong, for me to be dragging her away from her family, her humanity? Yes. 

“Well, it’s been crazy for Forks anyway.But I didn’t call to talk about Forks, tell me how you are doing?” The ever suffering and slightly sarcastic sigh on the other end of the phone lead me to believe this was how phone calls usually went between the two of them. 

“Everything’s fine here Bella!It’s looking like Phil will get picked up by Jacksonville so you can come back home! We’re renting a house and you’re bedroom is set up just like it was before, I got you more bookshelves and everything.”I wanted her to be happy, anything to make her happy.But her mother’s words felt like a knife to my heart as I struggled not to flinch reflexively. 

“Mom, I don’t know if I want to move again… I actually have made some friends, things are better here.”She didn’t look back at me. 

“Even without a therapist?Are you sure you don’t want to get one in Port Angeles? I know it’s an hour away but you could make the trip on the weekends or something.” Her head thudded softly against the window. 

“I think I need to figure it out on my own Mom,” She whispered.“And I like it here.” 

“It’s only been a few months… are you sure?” 

“Yeah I think I am.” I can see her soft smile in the reflection off the window when I glance over. 

“Well if you change your mind, all you have to do is call. I’ll work everything out with Charlie.”

“You’re doing it again Mom.” She sighed heavily folding her legs up on the seat. 

“I know I know, I’m not listening to what you want.Of course it’s your choice honey.It’s just, you’re only 16 and I’m your mother.I want to make sure you’re okay.” 

“I’m okay Mom, but I gotta go.I’m almost home.” 

“Wait where were you?” She asked in surprise. 

“In the car, I was with some friends.” 

“Oh really who?” I was admittedly interested in what she would tell her mother.If she would tell her about me. 

“I’ll tell you later, when we won’t be overheard.” She said turning and smirking at me knowing how much I want any information that could give me an insight to what she was thinking. 

“Oh?” 

“He’s driving me home.” She admitted as we pulled up in front of her house.

“There is a ‘he’?” 

“Good night Mom.” Bella says quickly hanging up and stuffing the phone back in her pocket.“Sorry about her.” 

“Don’t apologize for anything.” I laughed, flitting around the car to pull her out and spin her around jokingly just to hear the joy in her laugh.“I am so in love with you.” I whispered much too softly for her to hear, unsure if it would be what she needed to hear it right now.“I won’t lose you to this monster.” But I needed to say it. 

“Come on, I need to get inside.” She smiled as I set her down on her feet.

“Of course.” She led me up onto the tiny porch turning back to me right before opening the door. 

“I’ll be fine.” She said stretching up to wrap her little arms around my neck.She was so small and fragile, barely taller than Alice with bones like a swallow.But she was also tough as nails when she needed to be.“Check on Rose and Alice before you come up okay?” 

“Yes ma’am.” I grinned in response kissing her softly.I would never get enough of this, the cotton softness of her too-warm lips against mine, her thin sure fingers digging into my hair as she stretched up on her toes just to get that little bit closer to me. 

**Ew gross how can she kiss that.**

“Jake’s hear to update us, go inside I’ll be up in just a second.” I pulled away just far enough to speak.She stepped back as I watched her expression closely as it flicked through surprise annoyance and longing.I opened the door for her smiling faintly as she stepped inside and disappeared into the living room behind closed curtains.I knew exactly what she meant when she said she couldn’t watch me walk out of the room without the breath catching in her throat.Right now I felt like my lungs had just filled with water, sloshing painfully burning cold making it impossible to breath.I took a step back anyway, throwing the keys to Rosalie and stepping into the woods behind her house. 

**If it weren’t for you she wouldn’t be in danger right now.** Jacob snapped appearing a few dozen feet ahead of me. 

“Believe it or not I know that, did you catch up with him.” I said Jasper stepping up behind me. 

**What did he say?** He asked. 

“That if it weren’t for us Bella would be safe right now.” I muttered back tilting my head towards him. 

“If it weren’t for us she would be dead right now.” He shot back, making me wince and Jacob growl loudly. 

**What is he talking about!** Jacob shouted, his voice filled with more outrage and anger than I had anticipated. 

“This really isn’t the time, did you find him or not?” I interrupted them growling low and violently at each other. 

**No, he’s in town.We’ll get him as soon as he leaves.We’re patrolling around the entire place, but we can’t get close enough without getting spotted.It’s not late enough there are still people around.** He ground out clearly aggravated about it. 

“We’ll be here all night in case he tracks her scent here, but I doubt he will try anything tonight.” 

**He’s at school.** Alice chimed in from where she was perched on the roof of the house. **He won’t come here, but the police station, the grocery store, and the library will all get midnight visits most likely.I’m not sure though he isn’t really planning just running on instinct.**

“Alice says he probably won’t come here tonight, and if you have to track him right through town do it.We can deal with rumors and animal sightings later.” 

**I didn’t say that!** She protested loudly pacing around the roof.Bella threw open the window diverting my attention as she flopped down on the bed tossed around in the blankets trying to get comfortable, the pull of the sheets against each other rougher it should be. 

“Go, and expect him at the grocery store or the library.That’s where her scent will be most prevalent.And try not to cross her path or he’ll figure out you’re tracking him and he might run.” I nodded to Jacob, watching as he took off towards town. 

“She would be dead?” I asked turning to Jasper, jaw set hard. 

**Alice never told you?** He asked in surprise, one scar interrupted eyebrow raised. 

“No.” 

**That’s why she was so encouraging for you to talk to her.Because she was planning to disappear into the woods with her father’s hand gun.** Usually I found Jasper’s blunt nature refreshing, now I could have used some more delicacy in the matter. **Sorry.** It was not pleasant to have my own emotions played back at me through Jasper’s mind, especially not now.Rage anger guilt fear love protectiveness desire fear fear fear.I needed her in my arms.Right now. 

I ran around the house quickly leaping up right through the window landing almost silently on the hard wood floor right next to her bed.Her reflexive jerk away from me hurt more than I wanted to admit but I could hardly fault her for jumping at what was to her my sudden appearance. 

“Edward!” She scolded at a whisper reaching out for me to fold into her arms.I obeyed her silent command gladly toeing off my shoes and climbing into bed, one of her arms hooking under my neck and the other wrapping around my back.“Is everything okay?” 

“Relatively yes.He’s at school.”I murmured back, nuzzling into her neck inhaling deeply to feel the burn in my throat and the taste of her scent on my tongue.“We’re supposed to go to Seattle tomorrow.” 

“What? Oh yeah the dance is tomorrow.” Her voice was faint in it’s exhaustion, but it was there.She needed to sleep. 

“Did you take your medicine?” I asked pulling away so I could meet her eye. 

“Yeah, I’m probably going to pass out soon.” 

“Good, you need some sleep.It’s been an eventful day.”I whispered kissing her forehead lightly as she laughed. 

“That’s the understatement of the century my love.” My heart still contracted in the most painfully beautiful way when she said that word.I hope it will feel like that every time for the rest of eternity. 

“We can still go to Seattle if you would like.”I offered knowing she was rereading Hamlet again for lack of anything new.  
“Would it be safe?”She asked softly, her pale pink eyelids fluttering shut, eye lashing brushing feather light against her cheeks. 

“Alice? Jasper?” I asked nearly silently. 

**It might give up the tactical advantage… attack him while he is trying to track you on the highway,** Jasper considered. 

**I see you in Seattle just fine, but there are too many decisions to see how it will end.But that’s true of staying home too.** She was flicking through visions so fast I wasn’t sure how she was keeping everything straight. 

“It should be fine.” I replied to Bella, less than a second having passed since she had asked her question. 

“Am I going to have a protective detail?” She was practically asleep as I shifted her into my arms, her body curling into my side reflexively her bare legs tangling with my jean clad ones. 

**It shouldn’t be necessary.**

“No,” 

“Awesome.” 


	10. Bella

I woke with a start, images of James and Victoria flashing in my eyes as I opened them to the cold dark.But Edward’s arms were already wrapped around me, his soft touches brushing against my cheek and through my hair, holding me tight as tears streamed down my face. 

“And I hadn’t had a nightmare in ages.” My voice sounded so faint, muffled by Edward’s shirt where I was hiding my tears. 

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered brushing my hair away from my face, his hand running up and down my back.“Everything will be alright.” 

“You can’t _know_ that.”I insisted wiping the tears off my face with the backs of my hands. 

“I know it’s 11 against one, and I know that between Alice and I we’ll see him coming miles away.And I know that Jasper agrees with me that tactically we have a strong advantage.” He spoke quickly, “and, I also know that the pack almost caught up with him a little over an hour ago and he slipped through their fingers… or paws I guess.” He was trying to lighten my mood.“It’s only a matter of time Love.” 

“Are you sure he won’t go to Flordia?” I asked pulling away so I could see him. 

“I’m not _sure._ ” He admitted pressing his lips into a tight line.“But if they catch up to him tomorrow we’ll put someone on a plane to her.Rosalie and Emmett, or Jared and Embry, Carlisle hasn’t decided what is best yet.None of us are very well equipped to protect her where she is but he isn’t well equipped to get around us either so.”He shrugged sighing deeply.He sat up suddenly grabbing my chem notebook and a pen off my desk.He wrote as he spoke.“But don’t think on it, we’ll have a fun day in Seattle, find some new books.”He spun the notebook around. 

_ He is outside. _

“You’re right, yeah, that does sound good…” I responded staring at the paper.He spun it around again and began to write. 

“So are you thinking sci-fi, fantasy, or non-fiction?” He asked grinning that crooked grin at me over the paper. 

“I think I have enough fantasy in my real life thanks.” I laughed flopping back down on the bed next to him.“I’m thinking about Old Man’s War, the one you suggested.” 

“It is a good book,” He assured me smiling. 

_ He thinks he is out of range, his hearing is remarkable, but I can hear his thoughts just fine. He is waiting for us to leave.He thinks he will have the advantage outside.We are going to try to get him to follow us to Seattle, the wolves are in the process of creating a barrier about halfway there.The rest of us will come up behind him trapping him.We just need him to take the bait. _

“What else do you want to do while we’re up there?” He asked, brushing his fingers over my cheek. “Anything you need?” I smiled up to him taking the pen and paper from his hands. 

“Nothing specific, but I’d like to wander around for a while.You know, just get away from what’s happening.” I smiled softly glancing up at him.It seemed like the moments between his smiles were so torn, so… upset.But I somehow doubted it was just James behind those eyes, it was always something more complicated with Edward. 

 

_ Don’t you think he’ll see that coming. I mean I thought you said he was good at this stuff won’t he be expecting a trap? _

 

“Well I did promise you no security detail, so we’ll have the city to ourselves.At least regarding my family.” He laughed taking the notebook back. 

_ I am hoping his overconfidence in his abilities will overcome any suspicions. _

 

“Thank. God.” I laughed loudly as he put the notebook back down on the desk and rolled over on top of me, trapping my wrists easily over my head with one hand.“I like your family and all but…” 

“Oh the feeling is mutual.” He whispered against my cheek, I could feel his smile on my skin as he kissed along my jaw line and down my neck. 

“Are Alice and Jasper still on the roof?” I asked laughing as he let my hands go, my fingers gravitating to his shoulders. 

“Yup.” He said coming back up to kiss me soundly.His cold lips against mine felt as amazing as ever, the strength in his arms as they wrapped around me reassuring, his soft touch loving. “But they aren’t listening to us.” 

“Hm, what time is it?” I hummed against his lips, stretching under him making him groan, his hand tracing down my waist. 

“5:52” He muttered pulling back and glaring at me playfully. 

“What?” I asked laughing giving him my best innocent look, biting the inside of my lip and meeting his swirling golden eyes.I wondered suddenly how no one ever noticed that, how his eyes danced, the colors in them always moving changing like… I don’t even know what. Something beautiful. 

I guess they never let anyone get close enough to really see them, in any sense. 

“You are such a.. urgh.” He growled into my collar bone making me laugh. Suddenly he pressed his ear to my chest, his hand wrapping around my back holding me close. 

“What are you doing?” I laughed combing my hands through his hair gently. 

“Listening.” He whispered as if there was some tiny bird he would scare away if he spoke any louder. 

“To what?” I asked incredulously.“You can hear my heart beat at a hundred paces.” 

“Not nearly a hundred.” He corrects me laughing lightly. “I was listening to your laughter.It _is_ one of my favorite sounds.” 

“Oh really? What else makes the list?” I asked, his body relaxing and curling around me easily, sliding his legs sideways under mine, his head still pillowed on my chest. 

“I’m sure you can guess.” He sighed as my fingers continued to brush through his hair, my other hand rubbing gently over his shoulder and behind his neck. 

“I really couldn’t.” 

“Humor me?” He requested, his hand running up my hip wrapping around my waist again. 

“Um, the piano in your living room which I assume is yours, the sound of the wind rushing by as you run… I don’t know Edward.There are a lot of sounds in the world.” I laughed at him rolling my eyes. 

“Those are nice sounds, but you’re not even close.”He laughed, making me realize that I loved his laughter as much as he loved mine. 

“So what makes the list then?” 

“The sound of you saying you love me, the way you say my name, how your heart jumps when I kiss you, it’s a long list.” He shrugged as it was the most normal thing, not ridiculously sappy in the slightest. 

“I’ve never thought about my favorite sounds before.” I whispered after a minute.“But my favorite things about you… Well I’ve given that plenty of thought.” 

“Are you going to make me guess?” He groaned trapping my hand between his shoulder and his fingers, his head still resting on my chest. 

“No, I’m not mean.” I laughed trying to wiggle my hand out but failing miserably.“In no particular order, I love those little things you do that remind me exactly how old you are.Like how you _insist_ on carrying my things, and how you stand up when I come over to sit with you during lunch, and how you fold your hands behind your back when they aren’t busy.It’s… funny, and adorable.”I looked out the window, the light was just starting to fade in orange and yellow.“That crooked smile, the one that only comes out when you’re actually happy, not fake happy like usual.And that thing you do with your fingers, like you’re playing a piano in your head.And how you will reach out and touch me sometimes, almost like you can’t help it. Like if we are walking next to each other you will brush your fingers against the back of my hand or the small of my back, my elbow. How you brush your fingers against mine when you hand me things, bumping our knees together if we are sitting next to each other.” I went to continue but he didn’t let me, his lips covering mine in one of those too fast to track movements that never failed to make my heart skip a few beats.I laughed into his lips, wrapping my arms around his neck pulling him close. 

“I wasn't done.” I murmured when he trailed his lips across my jaw line. 

“I didn’t know you had noticed any of that.” He laughed sliding his arms under my body holding me up against him.“I don’t even notice those things.” 

“I love you.” I explained breathlessly fisting my fingers in his hair as he sucked a mark into the base of my neck. 

“I love you more.” He whispered grinning against my collar bone. 

“Liar.” 

“Never.”He growled softly coming up to kiss me. 

“I love that too.”I laughed kissing him again.“That little exchange it’s… nice.”

“It’s true.” He whispered propping himself up on his elbows to get a good look at me still nestled under him. 

“What that you love me more?” I laughed raising an eyebrow at him in disbelief. 

“I have a feeling that in reality that is pretty even, though I will continue to fight you on it.I meant that I won’t lie to you.” He whispered brushing his fingers over my forehead and through my hair. 

“Good I would kill you.” I said frankly.“Why do I feel like this is going somewhere?” 

“I… it’s just that I want you to know I genuinely don’t think James is any danger to you, or any of us.But Alice can’t see how this is going to end, and there is a chance he could hurt you.”He shook his head softly, a tuft of golden bronze hair flopping onto his forehead.I reached up ignoring how my hand shook to brush it back, tucking it in with the rest I had smoothed over earlier. 

“And that terrifies you.” I whispered back biting the inside of my cheek nervously. 

“Immensely.” He nodded tiling his face into the heat of my palm, kissing the inside of my wrist briefly.“You have become my world.You wormed those little fingers of your’s around my heart when I wasn’t looking.” He laughed softly giving me such a love struck look it took me a second to respond. 

“Are you sure it’s wise to let me hold it?” I asked so soft I could barely hear myself. 

“That’s just the thing, I don’t care.” He whispered back, the corner of his lip twitching up briefly.“It’s your’s either way.But I have a good feeling about it.” He broke out one of those crooked grins I told him I loved. 

“I’ll be careful.” I grinned back stretching up to kiss him softly. 

“Hmmm, your dad is about to come check on you.” He huffed clearly annoyed at the interruption.“How long do you need to get ready?” 

“Um, 20 minutes?” Give or take. 

“Okay, I’ll check in with the others and go get the car.Make sure you eat something.” He said moving to sit on the edge of the bed to slide on his shoes.“I love you.” He kissed me briefly before disappearing out the window just a second before Dad knocked sharp at the door. 

“Hey Bells are you up yet?” He asked his voice muffled by the hard wood door. 

“Yeah I was just about to take a shower,” I said scrambling to wrap my robe around my body before opening the door.“Edward’s going to be here soon we wanted to make an early start cause the drive is a bit long.” 

“What?” His face full of shock when I swung the door open stepping awkwardly around him. 

“Remember? We’re going to Seattle today to go to get some books? I told you about this ages ago.” I raised my voice a bit as I walked into the bathroom turning the shower on a little warmer than normal. 

“You just spent half of yesterday with the boy and now you are spending all of today?” He asked crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at me from where he stood in the door frame to the bathroom. 

“Yesterday was a last minute thing okay? I’ve been planning this for ages.He asked me if I was going to the dance and I said I was doing this instead and he… asked if he could come with.Like a month ago.Don’t worry he’s a very safe driver and this way I won’t be in Seattle all alone.” The best way to convince Dad was always to make it seem like my way was safer.And to be fair at least this time it was. 

“Alright fine, I was going fishing with Billy anyway.” He muttered, I had to stifle my own sigh of relief.The pack would never leave the reservation unguarded, and Jake would never put his father in harms way.

“Oh that’s good, where are you going?” I asked trying to sound uninterested. 

“Some place on the reservation, Billy said he and one of the other guys caught some stuff surf fishing the other day so he wants to try again.” 

“Cool sounds fun.”

“You hate fishing.” He scoffed, probably remembering all the times he and Billy had tried to get Jake and I to like it. 

“Yeah I was lying.” I laughed shooing him out the bathroom so I could shower.“It sounds really boring.” 

“Okay Bells I’m leaving now, be safe.” He called, thumping down the stairs. 

“I will be!” I shouted stepping into the hot water tilting my head into the stream.While I washed my hair I thought about what would happen, if James did get to me.Even if he didn’t kill me I had no doubt that Edward would kill him.Probably after making sure I was alright with that, which I guess I was.Not that I was angry that he was hunting me, or that I would really be angry if he hurt me.It’s what him hurting me would do to Edward that made me so angry.He would never forgive himself, him and his stupid guilt complex.As if he really thought he could control everything.But I guess he was probably used to it.He and Alice were essentially the protectors of their coven, seeing any danger coming so far off that no one else ever had to interfere.I think he blames himself a bit for not seeing it coming. 

Which, I mean, wasn't really his fault, he didn’t even know they were in the area Alice hadn’t seen them come anywhere close.I just sighed rolling my eyes to myself and washing the shampoo out of my hair quickly, making sure I scrubbed all the bubbles off my body before getting out.It only took me a few minutes to get dried off and dressed in a khaki skirt and blue button down, throwing a thick knit white sweater over it and a pair of tights to stay warm.It wasn’t too cold but it was on the chilly side.I ran a brush through my hair as quick as possible before bouncing downstairs.I maybe had enough time to make eggs? Eh, I’m committing to eggs either way.Edward would rather me eat than take another 10 minutes to get ready. 

I stepped off the last stair swinging around into the kitchen, grabbing a frying pan from the cabinet and eggs and butter from the fridge.Humming a melody I couldn’t remember the origin of I danced around the kitchen cracking few eggs into a bowl to scramble them and mix in some spices before spinning around to turn the stove on. 

Clicking the gas on lighting it easily and putting the pan down for it to heat up while I took a piece of toast out of the bag on top of the fridge and shoving it in the toaster. 

Edward slid his arms around my waist as I poured the eggs into the pan, his chin hooking over my shoulder as he pressed a kiss to my cheek. 

“That was quick.” I smiled looking back to kiss him quickly. “How’s everyone?” 

“Paul is very angry about going fishing…” He murmured moving easily with me as I stepped to the right to grab a fork to stir the eggs.“Besides hot headed wolves everyone else is doing well.James ran off, waiting by the highway right outside town.” 

“What a flake, he can’t even be a decent stalker.” I rolled my eyes smiling back at him. 

“Mh, making fun of the man attempting to kill you?” Edward asked, “Classic coping technique.”  
“I’m a classic kinda girl.” I grinned.“Can you get me a plate?” 

“Of course.” He was back in an instant holding out a plate for me to scoop the cooked eggs onto.  
“Thanks.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in the comments tell me if James should hurt Bella or not. Please I can't decide


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm just posting what I have right now because I was rereading this and I don't like how I skipped over everything besides Edward and Bella things so I'm gonna go back and rewrite this. But I'm on christmas break so I should have the time. Should repost by the new year

“Hey, I’ll be right back.Just going to go use the restroom.” I muttered glancing over at the annoyed older lady that had followed us over here from the history section.We had been at the book store for a few hours, methodically making our way through the sections and maybe I had laughed a little too loud at one of his sarcastic remarks and maybe he had kissed me a little too passionately for a book store but that didn’t give this lady any right to be so judgy. 

“I’ll be right here.” He smiled his hand brushing over my shoulder and down my back as I stepped away.I glanced back at him as I walked away, he had another book in his hands, cradling it in his hands as he flicked through the pages. 

Dear lord I was _hopelessly_ in love with him. 

“Hey look where you’re going.” An middle aged man in an ill fitted suit snapped when I nearly bumped into him while I was busy smiling at my feet like an idiot. 

“Sorry sir.” I smiled apologetically twisting around him and continuing down between the shelves, pulling my phone out of my pocket when it buzzed. 

 

**Text** _-_ Edward 

Impressive.

 

I rolled my eyes not bothering to text him back knowing he was obviously listening in. 

“Stop listening in, I’m fine.” I did not miss the odd look the employee putting away books gave me. 

 

**Text** \- Edward 

Yes Ma’am.

 

It was just a single bathroom which I quickly thanked god for locking the door turning to brace myself against the sink for a minute taking a few deep breaths.It was fine everything was fine. 

And it was, until I was washing my hands and my phone rang.It was just Dad so I swiped the phone open holding it against my ear as I rinsed the last of the soap off. 

“Hey Dad what’s up?” I asked reaching for a paper towel. 

“You’re dear sweet father can’t talk right now _Bells_. I think I might have broken his jaw…” In a fraction of a second my blood ran cold, every muscles in my body freezing in shock.No no no Dad, I can’t lose Dad he can’t have him. 

Wait he really can’t have him. 

Paul and Quil are both with them, we would have heard if something had happened to them, with the pack’s telepathy and the Cullen’s with the rest of them it wouldn’t have taken more than a few seconds for them to call Edward. 

“You can’t have my father, he’s safe.” I said my voice shaking more than I’d like. 

“You are such an ignorant naive little girl.I’m looking forward to tasting your untainted blood.But you have to get away from that boy, or I’ll put Daddy 6 feet under.” God he was making me angry, talking like he knew me.Like he had the right. 

“Edward would know if you got to Charlie, you’re lying to me.” I calmed my voice making it more steady. 

“He does know, he just doesn’t care.With you father out of the way he can have you all to himself.” His laugh was borderline maniacal.“At least until I get my hands on you, I think it will break him.Sucking you dry.That will be almost as satisfying as killing you.” 

“You have no idea what you are getting into.” I spat, my anger exploding.“ Even if you torture me or turn me or drain me.It won’t just break him, it will make him _furious_.He’ll find you.Tear you to shreds.You think he’s soft, you have no idea.He’s the most gentle soul I have ever met until you threaten the people he loves he will _hunt you down_ no matter _how_ long it takes.He keeps that anger inside locked up so tight, it’s a different kind of savagery when he lets it out.He broke a man’s arm just for touching me wrong, threw another 50 ft up against a brick wall for the same.Imagine what he’d do to the man who killed me.Maybe he’ll ask Kate to help torture you, I hear she has quite the gift for it, gives Jane a run for her money. Or maybe he’ll lock you up and starve you, I know it won’t kill you but it must ache, drive you mad.Or maybe he’ll burn you just a little bit at a time so you can feel like you’re turning all over again.So think about that, before you do anything else stupid.And if you decide to keep coming after me, well good luck. You’re going to need it.” I hung up resisting the surprisingly strong urge to throw my phone across the little bathroom and smash it against the white subway-tiled wall. 

 

**Text -** Alice 

Wow.

Please tell me you are the only one who heard that.

I think so. 

That was impressive.

What is he going to do now?

You’ve made him desperate, he only wants you more. 

He’s headed straight for you. 

 

I shoved my phone into the back pocket of my jeans unlocking the door fumbling with it a bit before swinging the door open.He was right there, on the other side of the door giving me a look that was somewhere between exasperated and enraged and aroused. 

I was not expecting that. 

“Alice lied to me.” I scrunched my nose in annoyance letting Edward fold me into his arms. 

“About what?” He asked pulling me farther back in the hall and around a corner. 

“The stupid fucking phone call Edward.” I groaned leaning my forehead against his chest.“Alice said she was the only one who heard.” 

“I wouldn’t have heard, but he called you Bells.It got my attention.”He seemed to almost vibrate with rage, his voice turning to a growl.His anger was interrupted by my phone ringing again, my eyes flicking up to his suddenly as I pulled it out of my pocket.He plucked it right out of my hand answering it as he kept his eyes trained on me. 

“You know it’s rude to hang up on people.” I could just barely hear his voice on the other end of the line. 

“You don’t deserve polite anything from her.” Edward snapped back, I could hear James’ maniacal laugh. 

“For such an obsessive bastard I thought you would have heard me by now.”Edward’s sneer dropped from his face, his eyes unfocusing as he no doubt scanned the thoughts of everyone within range. 

“Fuck.” I winced at his curse, and at how he crushed my phone in the palm of his hand in an instant as his eyes refocused on me.Just as quickly he was pulling me out of the service entrance and out into an alleyway between buildings. “I’m so sorry, I love you I’m so sorry.” 

“I love you too.” I could barely speak, the air not getting to my lungs properly.He pushed me towards the mouth of the alley, I could see the parking lot, people bustling about the man I bumped into walked right by only twenty feet from us.Suddenly his head shot up, his whole body spinning around to put himself between me and the figure that had just jumped down from the roof.I gripped the back of his shirt in my hand watching as Edward snarled at James.He just laughed. 

“Run.” Edward said pushing me back away from him towards the parking lot.My mind reeled for a second before it sunk in.James couldn't kill me in front of so many people, the Volturi would never let that stand, even if he massacred every person in the lot, every person in the mall so there were no witnesses. They would never let him live. 

And Edward would have a better shot if he wasn’t having to worry about me. 

I stumbled back turning to run those last dozen feet I got to the entrance just as Victoria’s hand shot out and blocked the way to force me to come to a stop at the edge of the mouth of the alley way.All I could focus on was the insane grin on her face, the wild orange hair, but I knew there were still the groups of people swarming lazily around the parking lot just in front of me.Just as I slammed into her arm feeling the crunch of my ribs from hitting her rock solid arm I opening my mouth sucking in as much air as I could and screaming louder than I ever had. 

A certain detached part of my brain registered just how terrified and blood curdling the scream was, but most of me was just praying this would work.Several heads shot up quickly, people turning to me as I struggled against Victoria’s too strong grip.I could feel the tears streaming down my face as I ran out of air I tried to suck in more but Victoria had wrapped her arm around my ribs keeping me from expanding my lungs. 

“Hey, What’s going on here?” The man I bumped into was running across the parking lot shouting, as were at least a dozen other people. 

Victoria’s grip loosened just enough for me to get air. 

“HELP! Please help me!” I screamed still struggling against her.My lungs burned and my ribs ached but I kept screaming. 

By then the first two men reached me pulling Victoria and I out of the mouth of the alleyway, within just a few seconds her arms disappeared and I almost collapsed, my knees hitting the concrete hard as I gasped in air.The man from the store gripped my shoulders tightly, his club master glasses slipping down his narrow nose as he knelt down next to me. 

“Are you alright?” I grabbed onto his pinstriped jacket and tried to find my voice but I was still gasping for air.A crowd jumbled around us quickly, people coming in from every side, their faces swarming in my tear twisted vision.  
“Edward…” I tried to get up buy my body was shaking too much for my limbs to cooperate.“Edward, my boyfriend”I pleaded, keeping my death grip on the man’s jacket.“there was a man in the alley, he tried to keep him back so I could get away.” 

“You’re going to be okay, everything will be fine.” The man said carefully looking over my head and into the dark alleyway.He gripped my elbow hauling me to my feet with more strength than it looked like he had, I pulled back trying to look back at the alley but he didn’t let me instead dragging me over to a bench a few dozen feet away. 

“No,” I moaned, my tears streaming new down my cheeks as he pushed me down on the bench.“No he has to be alright-” 

“Bella!” I heard him shout over the buzz of voices and colors I couldn’t focus on. 

“Edward!” I cried trying to get to my feet as he pushed through the crowd easily but the man next to me kept me down, I guess I was still shaking and struggling to breath. I reached out as his arms wrapped around me gently hoisting me up so my legs wrapped around his hips and my arms locked around his neck.“It happened so fast, I-I just thought, thought if I screamed.The-they would get scared off.” My breath hiccuped in my throat pulling at my ribs painfully. 

“Shhh, you did great, everything is alright Love they both ran off.You’re safe.” He ran his hand over my back.“Breath with me Love?” I nodded into his jacket, burying my face in his chest as I struggled to match his breathing. 

After I calmed down enough that my shaky breath was even enough to speak properly he leaned back so he could meet my eye.He smiled softly at me as I wiped the tears from my eyes sniffling a bit. 

“Are you okay?” He asked rather looking like he already knew the answer.I’m sure he heard my ribs. 

“I’m fine.” I said anyway tightening my arms around his neck gently leaning my forehead against his. 

“Bella,” he groaned squeezing his eyes shut and furrowing his brow. “please.”

“My, my chest hurts right uh, right here.” I slid my hand over where the pain was the worst on my left side a few inches below my breast. “From where I ran into her.”I glanced around, there were still a lot of people standing around and the man who had pulled me from Victoria’s arms was on the phone over Edward’s shoulder.“Is he calling the police?” I asked quietly. 

“Yes, don’t worry about that.” He spoke gently but his tone was still tinged with anger and pain. His hand shifting mine so he could press it over my ribs, the cold touch felt good on what was going to no doubt be a very considerable bruise in a few hours. 

“No hospital.” I shook my head hiding in his shoulder. “Please I can’t no hospital.” 

“They are just sending a few officers no ambulances.Carlisle can help you instead he’s already halfway here.” 

“You should call him, so it doesn’t look weird that he knew.” I murmured leaning back against his shoulder. 

“Speaking of which I owe you a phone.” He whispered back pressing a kiss to the top of my head as he shifted me gently to extract his phone from his pocket.“I’m sorry about that.” 

“Don’t worry about it, I just about threw my phone across the bathroom after I hung up on him.”I laughed lightly, groaning as the movement jostled my ribs.God that really hurts. 

“Careful, I think one of your ribs is broken…” I could hear the guilt in his voice as his arms wrapped securely around my, the phone dialing where it was balanced between his shoulder and ear. 

“You aren’t allowed to feel guilty.”I muttered vaguely annoyed as I buried my face in his chest again.I could feel the low rumble of protest in his chest just as Carlisle picked up the phone. 

“We’re twenty minutes out.” He said immediately his voice harder than I had ever heard it. 

“Hey Dad,” Edward sighed pulling me up closer so my head rested on his shoulder. 

“Are either of you hurt?” His voice warmed up considerably, I think Carlisle secretly really likes when his children call him Dad... which is kind of adorable. 

“Bella might have a broke rib...” Edward murmured burying his face in my hair. “But other than that we’re both fine.” 

“And James?” He asked making me wonder too. 

“In pieces on the roof.” He muttered softly so no one else would hear. “But not Victoria, she slipped away in the crowd. I couldn’t go after her.” He growled softly as I carded my fingers through his hair in an attempt to calm him down. 

I tried ignored the sirens I could hear in the distance, the shriek growing steadily louder it was beginning to grate on my ears pretty heavily.I couldn’t stop the uncomfortable shiver it felt like my skin was crawling at the shrill sound and my muscles squirmed under it’s affects.I tried to block out the sound with my hands but it kept getting louder. 

“Yeah okay Dad, I’ll see you in twenty minutes.The Barnes and Noble in the Northgate Mall yeah.” He spoke rapidly but louder than before so the people around us could hear.Disconnecting the call he set me down on my feet making sure I was stable before clamping his hands over my ears to drown out the sound.It worked better than my hands had but it was still too loud. 

What is with me and loud noises?It aggravates me so much, it just, makes me feel like I’m drowning like it’s pressing in tight and overstimulating every inch of my body.And not in a good way. 

“Breathe Bella.” 

I felt like I was going to lose it when Edward pulled me closer into his chest and spoke to someone, I could feel the vibrations in his chest better than I could hear him but his words were clear enough.  
“Turn off the siren.” He snapped, they must be here, that’s why it was so loud. 

“Is she okay?” Someone asked right behind me, I flinched at the closeness pressing into Edward as I felt a growl rumble in his chest. 

“It’s the siren turn the fucking siren off.” He shouted already angry to begin with and this definitely wasn't helping either of us. 

“Don’t take that tone with her young man.” Someone else snapped but thankfully, blissfully, the siren was turned off.I sagged against Edward’s chest, my ears still ringing as his arms wrapped tightly around my waist to keep me from falling.He lowered me gently onto the bench, hoisting my legs up so I was sitting on it sideways. 

“Put your head between your knees, and Bella please breathe.” He spoke quickly rubbing his hand over my back as I did as I was told.It did make me feel better, my head was still reeling and I felt like the world was spinning as I gasped in a lungful of air.“Sh, you’re okay.” He whispered pressing a kiss to my temple. 

“Does she need to go to the hospital?” Someone asked, the one who had scolded Edward for cursing.I glanced up to see a cop leaning over Edward’s shoulder, he was big damn. 

“I’m right here.” I said as firmly as I could still sounding a bit breathless.“And I’m fine thanks for asking.” 

“I already called my father, he’s a doctor and should be here soon.”Edward assured him as another female cop came up behind him. 

“Can you two tell us what happened?” She asked kneeling down next to Edward so her eye line was even with mine.I just kind waved my hand at Edward putting my head back between my knees.I was too worked up to come up with a decent answer for her. 

“We were in the alley, right over there.” He said moving to sit behind me so I could lean back into his shoulder and close my eyes.“And out of no where this guy comes up to us with a knife.He didn’t even say anything, I pushed Bella down the alley towards the parking lot as he took a swipe at me.Luckily he only caught my jacket.And then she started screaming and he ran back down the alley.” Edward wrapped an arm around my waist gently making sure not to jostle my rib.“He seemed kind of wired, like he was high or something, I’m not really sure.”It was a little bit funny to hear Edward speak more like a teenager than he usually did. 

“And the woman,” I muttered, “there was a redheaded woman that blocked me from getting out of the alley.She, uh, looked pretty ragged, they both did.She was a few inches taller than me, that’s why I screamed.I thought if I drew attention to myself she would have to let me go.And then I could find help for Edward.” I could hear her scribbling away on a notepad.  
“Can you tell me more about what she looked like?” She asked as the man grumbled behind her. 

“Um, I don’t know.She had a lot of red hair, and it was a mess all tangled with leaves and things in it.Maybe 5’6” or 5’7”.I don’t really know I wasn’t looking at her face.”Actually her face was burned into the back of my eyes but there wasn't exactly a point of describing her to the cops.They would never catch up to them.

“And the man?” 

“Blond, maybe 5’10”, I was mostly looking at the knife to be honest. But he looked homeless, ragged dirt covered clothes.” Edward said shrugging. 

“And your names?” She asked as I looked up at her, brushing the hair out of my face roughly. 

“Isabella Swan and Edward Cullen.” I answered for us feeling my anxiety fade the longer I was in Edward’s arms.“Oh, and she took my phone.” 

“What kind of phone?” She asked as Edward stiffened slightly under me.I glanced back to make sure he was okay but he just smiled back at me reassuringly. 

“Um, an iPhone 5c, it’s blue.” I spoke quietly.“Took it right out of my pocket.” 

“Okay, anything else?” She stood looking over to her partner as I swung my legs off the bench sitting up properly.Admittedly I was feeling a lot better, the world had stopped spinning a few minutes ago and the ringing in my ears was quickly fading to silence. 

“I don’t think so… Edward?” I twisted in his arms to look at him gasping as I wrenched my rib. 

“Are you alright?” The officer reached forward to me just as Edward scooped me up righting my position so that my ribs wasn’t getting yanked by my muscles anymore. 

“Yeah,” I gasped a bit still in a lot of pain.“just bruised I think, I ran right into the woman.I’ll be fine.” Edward pressed his hand against the injury, the cold of his hand helping a bit. 

“I just have one more question..” She said as I leaned heavily on Edward.“What exactly were you two doing in the alley?” I looked up at Edward and for the first time in my life attempted to induce blush. It was surprisingly easy, just imagining what I would like to have been doing in that alley with him and I could feel my cheeks heat up tinging my skin red.His hands tightened around me protectively, possessively, before he relaxed tucking me easily into his chest. 

“I’m sure you can guess ma’am.” He murmured, his hand sliding up my arm to bury in my hair, curling around the back of my head.“It was my fault, we were in the book store and I dragged her out of a service entrance on the side of the building.It opened up in the alley.” 

“It hardly counts as dragging.” I huffed poking him in the chest lightly.“I would have done the same thing.”

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, my attempt at making Twilight less shit. I am kind of just going to shove all the books together because honestly the characters not being horrible cuts out a lot of drama and fuck New Moon or whatever. Hope you like it.


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